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2011-04-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

I tried on a new dress and it fit me well.

Check out my new digs here.

Kisses,
Lulu

Scene & Heard: Intelligentsia Coffee, Downtown Chicago, 4:15 p.m.

2011-02-28T10:03:00.001-08:00

"I destroyed my heart by stirring sugar into it." — Audrey Fox, about her coffee art.

Scene & Heard: Deep Eddy Cabaret, 10:43 p.m.

2011-02-22T07:51:00.000-08:00

"Well, could I do it in regular shoes? I'm really sure-footed. I'm a really good tree-climber! I had to do something to defeat my social awkwardness at parties during high school..." — Alana Ault, while at my Dive of the Month Club meet-up at a West Austin drinking institution.

Scene & Heard: Draught House, 11 p.m.

2011-02-02T09:33:00.000-08:00

"It took me a while to realize I like whiskey." — friend, debating liquors over happy hour beer.

Scene & Heard: Bending Branch Winery, 6 p.m.

2011-01-17T11:06:00.000-08:00

"With a wedding, there are two people getting married, but the wedding often takes on a life of its own. You end up looking around thinking, 'Who does all this belong to?'" — Woman chatting over a glass of wine with a friend in the tasting room

Scene & Heard: North American Beekeeping Conference and Trade Show in Galveston, TX, 11 a.m.

2011-01-08T20:37:00.000-08:00

"People always say the same thing: 'My local bee club sucks.' Bee clubs are all the same. All folks want to do is sit around drinking coffee and telling swarm stories... Develop a leadership roll in your club. Don't be a know-it-all, but work to become the go-to person. Help focus the club outwardly." — Bruce Boynton, NHB CEO, Firestone, Colorado (on how to take a more active roll in the world of beekeeping)

25 Things I Learned How to Do in 2010

2011-01-06T08:49:00.000-08:00

In my ongoing effort to impress you with my skills, I picked up a few new ones last year. I now know how to:

Find my way around Austin
Use an espresso machine
Drive a stick shift (almost… I need to practice a bit more)
Prepare Texas queso
Identify three new wines based on their smell, taste, and appearance (vermentino, picpoul blank, tannat)
Fold an origami tree ornament
Properly use the phrase "y'all" (including the plural and possessive forms)
Cook with bison
Put together an event
Ferment my own kombucha
Make a shower curtain out of deflated birthday balloons
Register a new LLC
Play the bass (ditto the stick shift)
Make my own gourmet soap
Texas Two Step to Motown music
Polish silver
Use Quickbooks
Grow outdoor plants indoors
Bake gluten-free muffins
Make a cake stand out of mismatched plates and tea cups
Turn a dowdy skirt into a few dowdy snoods
Meditate
Fit backline onto a tiny stage
Say the word "sin" in French
Ask for help

25 Reasons to Give Dallas a Chance

2010-12-27T11:08:00.000-08:00

Dallas has a lot of haters (outside of Dallas, that is). Austinites rarely have good things to say about the place (including even those originally from Dallas); folks from out of state often misunderstand the city. I admit that, before I visited Dallas last month to write an article on a smaller adjacent town, my own foggy impression of it involved a spangled cowboy boot and big hair.

Certainly, that stereotype exists there. One only need travel slightly north of the downtown to find the manicured landscaping, terra cotta shopping centers combining local grocers and Hermes, diamond chandelier earrings worn casually with jeans and boots, and hood ornaments you could hang on a Christmas tree. But there is also the opportunity to take in art, high and low, and eat well in a number of ways.

Thus, I present a list of things to like about Dallas:

1. The Soda Gallery

2. Dutch modern artist Claes Oldernburg's Corridor Pin, Blue, 1999 in Center Park

3. Hypnotic Donuts

4. Deep Ellum

5. Peggy Sue BBQ

6. Reunion Tower

7. Zola's Everyday Vintage

8. Bolsa

9. Scardello Artisan Cheese

10. Rise Souffle

11. Lee Harvey's

12. El Atoron

13. Kuai Dumplings & Soups

14. Ahab Bowen

15. Bows and Arrows

16. May's Ice Cream

17. Make

18. Fountain Place

19. Green Pet

20. Tei-An

21. Maple and Motor

22. Paciugo

23. The 6th Floor Museum

24. Chocolate Secrets

25. Bath House Cultural Center

Scene and Heard: Blue Genie Art Bazaar, 11:30 a.m.

2010-12-15T10:56:00.000-08:00

"We are the robots." — Little girl singing Kraftwerk to her doll while her mother contemplated which up-cycled vase to purchase.

Scene and Heard: The Marchesa Hall & Theatre 2:30 p.m.

2010-12-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

"Look I told Dad and Uncle Paul that they can't shoot bucks. Then Paul took it upon himself to blame me for the mess. Sarah said that they left it 'as clean as it was before they were there.'" — Woman ranting to another woman over a glass of wine

Interview: Lovers

2010-12-01T22:09:00.000-08:00

Portland-based musical trio Lovers arrives at The Saxon Pub about halfway into Walt Wilkins country-dominated acoustic set. Competing with the sound of whoops and sincere guitar strings, the girls explain to the bouncer that they are one of the bands in the evening lineup and finally enter the dusky bar with an understandable blend of confusion and concern sneaking across their faces. The walls of the Saxon Pub are plastered with photos Willie Nelson and his contemporaries; the bar is packed with cowboys and cowgirls drinking Texan beers — a pile of regulars that have come to enjoy a night like any other at this Austin institution.

You wouldn’t expect to find a quirky, romantic electronic-tinged folk-pop group like Lovers tucked into a good ol’ venue like the Saxon Pub, so I was extremely curious about the arrangement. How would Wilkins’ fan base take to the sequencers, electronic drums, and bright feminine energy of this Northwestern outfit?

I sat down with band mates Carolyn Berk (“Cubby”), Emily Kingan, and Kerby Ferris to chat about their recent tour, additional creative endeavors, their international musical beginnings, and (excellent) new album, Dark Light.

How did this incarnation of Lovers come together? This wasn’t the original lineup, as I understand it.

Emily Kingan: Kerby and I met each other a long, long time ago in Portland at a party at my house. Then Kerby and I were on tour with my old punk band, The Haggard, and we were playing at The Eagle in San Francisco. That was when we first met Carolyn. She was on tour with her band, [which] was Lovers at the time. Their band had blown up, and they jumped on the bill that we were playing.

Kerby Ferris: After that, I moved away from Portland, but Emily still lived there. Cubby moved to Portland, so they became close. Then I went to Brazil —originally on another tour with The Haggard — and ended up living there for years. As luck would have it, Carolyn was going to Buenos Aires with her dad at the same time I was there on a trip with a Brazilian band. So Emily arranged for us to meet, which we did, and then Cubby came to stay with me in Sao Paulo and it was like friend magic, much like it’s been with Emily for like 10 years. Then maybe like a year and a half later, I had a lot of reasons to move back home (Portland), where those two were living. At the time, I wanted to have a creative project there. We were on Gmail chat one night and Cubby said, “Come play drums in Lovers.” It was an exciting idea, especially because I had been doing a lot of work with electronic music in Brazil, and the sound of lovers had always been a lot more analog. Cubby said that they were trying to go a new direction, kind of dance and stuff. So we had this plan before I moved back to Portland that we would play music together. Then when I came back the three of us naturally just kind of came together and reformed the band.

That’s a much more complicated answer than I was expecting. So, do you speak Portuguese?

KF: Yeah. So does Emily.

EK: I spent a lot of time in Brazil, too. I didn’t live there, but I spent five or six months there, on and off.

You guys should have done a Portuguese bonus track or something.

KF: Haha, maybe! We’d really like to tour South America because we have so many friends and so much community down there. It would be really exciting. Plus I think it’s such an exciting place for so many reasons, but especially in terms of the independent music scene. Especially in Brazil and Sao Paulo, it’s just really impressive.

You talked about it a little bit already, but what were you doing before you became a band? Did you always know you wanted to be musicians? Did any of you go to school to study music?

KF: I’ve never studied music, except maybe after the fact playing in bands. But the course of my life has always been guided by music and by bands, and it’s just sort of what’s always inspired me and moved me to act and has always been the common space in the communities I’ve found myself in as a teenager and as an adult. It’s been this common thread throughout all the moves I’ve made. It just feels like a natural outlet.

EK: I’ve played in touring bands for years, probably since 1997, but I wasn’t in any serious music project when Lovers started happening as the three of us. I’ve worked for probably 12 years as a bicycle mechanic, and then I also do freelance accounting work. I have my own business doing that. I mean, I still do those things, but that’s what I was doing before Lovers.

Carolyn Berk: I’ve been doing Lovers for a long time.

KF: I guess to answer the question, before Lovers I had a couple of experimental electronic music projects in Sao Paulo. And I’m also a computer programmer. But the programming is also concurrent.

How did you each decide which instruments you wanted to play?

EK: That was a bit of a trick, I think, when we first started playing. Originally, when we first started playing — Cubby, were you playing guitar? At the beginning? But then I was also playing guitar. But we weren’t playing guitar… together. And you were playing electronic drums. Since then we’ve morphed, and I’ve started playing drums. And I’ve been playing sequencer, this electronic instrument. Kerby’s been playing a synthesizer and an electronic drum pad, and Cubby is sort of freed up to sing and perform.

KF: Yeah, I’ve only ever played drums in projects before this one. Through our many iterations of what everyone was going to play, it kind of made sense for me to play the keyboard and that’s been really exciting because it’s been kind of a meeting of the computer brain and the music brain with the synths and synth programming. It’s been kind of cool to learn how to play a keyboard.

CB: I’ve just been doing Lovers for like 10 years, I think. Or maybe even more.

Since 2001, right?

CB: Yeah, that’s when the first album came out. But, I was doing it before then, just sort of figuring it out. I was in high school and then I moved to Athens, GA, being a kid, I guess.

Your music has many elements to it. How do you know when you’ve reached the right balance? When do you say, “Ok, this is it. Let’s stop adding to it.”?

EK: It’s hard.

CB: I think we have good intuition. If it feels right, we sort of let it alone. It’s very easy for us to come to a consensus, I find. Do you guys agree?

EK/KF: Yeah.

EK: A lot of the songs on our new record, though, we were still in the process of working out the last details while we were recording, and it wasn’t until the record was totally done that we knew exactly how the song went.

How is this album different in terms of preparation and content from the band’s first four?

EK: You wanna answer this Cubs?

CB: Um, let’s see. Well, this is the first album that we’ve done as a three-piece. I think that the content is more… buoyant than what it’s ever been before. And I find that as I get older I write less about my — I have fewer demons to work out, almost. And I’m starting to turn a little bit more outward, just as I get older, and I’m less troubled, I think. You know?

EK: I also think that this fifth record is different from the first in the fact that we all feel more empowered; more like our hands are really sunk into the songs. It also seems like there’s a lot more joy in the songs in the latest record, as opposed to the first one. A lot more humor, too.

Having lived in different corners of the country — and, in fact, other countries — do you think the way you create music is affected by where you are living at the time?

All: Totally. Yeah, absolutely.

Which town are you referring to in “To Be a Dancer”? Is that a generic town or are you referring to a specific place?

CB: Uh, that’s my hometown. I felt pretty stifled in my hometown. I think we all did.

Is this Boston?

CB: Yeah, just outside; a suburb of Boston.

Which suburb? I’m from Ipswich.

CB: Newton.

EK: Everyone we meet is from Massachusetts!

CB: Yeah, we meet so many people from Massachusetts.

Emily, you’re from Massachusetts, too?

CB: Yeah, she’s from Bolton. We were just talking about this today, in the car: How I remember being a teenager and wondering how I was ever going to get to really be who I am, become myself. I wanted a really different life from the one that I saw, you know? And that’s what really drew me to music. That’s where I saw artists who seemed to be having beautiful lives.

Kerby and Emily, did you guys have anything you wanted to add about how place affects the way you make music?

EK: I’ve only been making music since I’ve lived in Portland. I moved out there as a 17-year-old to go to college and discovered an amazing music scene. But I guess I saw myself reflected in the people that were playing music there. That strong feeling of identifying with those people really pulled me into the music scene, I feel. And it’s been super supportive ever since I’ve done that.

KF: Yeah, I think when you asked that question it sort of occurred to me how true that is. I think the music I was making in Sao Paolo was much more frenetic and busy in a way that that city feels. And I think that Lovers, though it does have a lot of those electronic elements, has just such a different way and a different feel with them. Portland feels like a very feminine town to me, and Lovers has a very feminine feel to the music, and it’s nice to be just kind of doing harmonies and things that could have never come out of that space in the way I was experiencing it. So that makes a lot of sense. Also, it maybe makes a lot of sense with being older, but I’m not sure. That’s just my experience.

Yeah, I’ve never been to Portland, but I hear it’s a fun town.

EK: I would say it has a lot of things in common with Austin, size-wise and the way the music scene is larger.

There seems to be a big back-and-forth between the two cities. I have a lot of friends that are either from there or moving there. Is it difficult translating your music from studio to live performance, or does it tend to go more from live performance to studio?

EK: I don’t think it’s too hard. We program sort of a backbone of most of our songs in the sequencer that I’m controlling, and so that is going to sound very similar to what’s on the record, because it’s directly represented in the live performance.

CB: I think the studio really followed what we had worked out for the live performance. I think that there were very few things that happened in the studio that weren’t already happening live. So that was an easy transition after we made the record, I’d say.

What are some of your favorite cities in which to perform?

CB: We had a lot of fun in Tucson.

EK: Yeah, we like that one.

CB: I think we’ve had really good experiences in San Francisco.

Where did you play in San Francisco?

EK: Well, we played in Berkeley, actually, at a place called The Starry Plough.

Oh, I know that place.

CB: I was thinking about when we played at The Hemlock, but that was not on this tour.

EK: We’ve had good shows in L.A., too, but we weren’t able to get an L.A. show this time.

Really? Wow.

CB: It just didn’t work out with our schedule, because we were sort of in a rush. I’ve enjoyed all our shows so far.

KF: We played Oklahoma City, and I had an awesome time there. I loved that show.

EK: We’ve had really good, supportive response from the audience.

CB: Yeah, nice feedback.

Most of your songs are about romance — and I noticed it was a bit more upbeat this time around. Are your lyrics/subject matter grounded in real experiences you’ve had or do they stem more from your hopes/imagination? Are you speaking to particular people with what you’ve written?

CB: Yep. Yep, I think that it’s very helpful— it’s just the way that I process information. It’s very helpful for me to put things into a song. It’s just very therapeutic. So yeah, I draw from my emotional life, you know, and I have two rules of songwriting: Don’t lie, and don’t dumb it down. So I just work from there. But I love to sing and I find it very — it’s like an om. It’s like a prayer.

Is Bridgette real?

CB: Haha, yeah! She’s one of my best friends.

What does a “no regrets” hand sign look like?

CB: Looks like this: (makes no regrets hand sign).

What do you hope your listeners will take away from your music?

KF: I think just a message of hope and love. I think that’s what this band has given me, and I love it when that just seems to pour out of our live performance. I think those are two awesome things that people can give each other.

EK: I guess I’d like people to take away the desire to share it with other people. I hope that people hear it and want to keep hearing it. I hope it resonates with people, but also… It’s what I want to listen to, and I hope that other people enjoy it, that it fills the hole of the record that they want to hear or something. I feel like sometimes it’s hard to find that perfect record.

CB: I tend to think with music that if there’s something in it that you need that it will sort of just check in with you, you know what I mean? So I feel like, if someone needs to share an experience or is needing to get into one of those moods or feel like anything is possible or a great feeling or a sad feeling or whatever, that this would just be a good sister or work like a companion; a friend. That’s what music has always done for me, my favorites.

By the way, my status right now reads: “I make alliances with my appliances.”

EK: Haha, I feel like that’s the lyric that’s had the strongest legs.

It’s so catchy! And so true.

KF: And so true.

In addition to making music, you appear to always pursue a lot of other creative side projects — perhaps most notably your hilarious “Man Times” series online. Let’s talk about that first. It’s something you’ve pursued for a while now. What episode are you up to now, 18?

EK: We’re up to 17.

Ok, so you’re getting ready to film 18, though.

EK: Yes.

What are you going to do for the next one? It’s going to get hard to top that now! You’ve already done chopping wood times and the feminist book store times…Where do you go from there?

KF: Into a car for a month! It might be “Man Times: Tour Times” haha.

What about taxidermy? There’s a lot of that in Texas.

EK: Taxidermy! We had the idea of “Going Shopping for Jeans Times.”

Oh, ok. Yeah!

CB: It was actually a drunk girl at a wedding who had that idea.

EK: But you wanted to know about our other creative projects?

Yeah, you guys are funny. I want to know what else you’ve been up to lately.

EK: I make a slew of movies. All the time. I’m starting to work on another Lovers video for the song “Don’t You Want It.” I’m trying to think what else I’m working on… More Lovers material… songs and stuff. I just made a little short interviewing my parents about feminism. It’s going to play at the Olympia Film Festival in about two weeks. I don’t know. I guess that’s maybe all that I’m working on right now.

What are you filming with?

EK: I have a little HD Flip camera that I always have with me, so I end up using that a lot.

I have the crappy first version of that. The thing won’t close and the USB keeps popping out awkwardly in my bag.

EK: Yeah, those are great little cameras, though. I also have a fancy video camera, but it’s really big, so I don’t usually take it with me. I just did a sort of comedy-slash —well, it wasn’t exactly a porno — for this porno competition called “Hump.” It didn’t get chosen, but I submitted that.

That will be nice to have, either way, right?

EK: Uh, I guess, haha. I don’t know! Kerby? Lavender Mirror?

KF: Well, I have another band called Lavender Mirror. I read a lot of, like, woo woo stuff, and I feel like that band is helping me get it out. We wear animal masks and chakra lights, and my band mate plays a hybrid electronic driftwood drum kit. She’s always asking for more driftwood in the monitor, which is one of my favorite things that’s happened live. And we do a lot of building microphones into masks and stuff so we can have these animal personalities. I’m also building a house in my backyard that’s like a tiny house on wheels.

Wait, why the wheels?

KF: That way I can be like a homeowner even though we rent. So, we’re renters, but I can also be a homeowner. Just tug it around. And then I’ve been drawing up plans for a microcontroller garden, because we are always leaving. So the idea is that you have this garden that you can water and light from your cell phone, and it can, like, Tweet, how it’s doing to you. Anyway, I got a little microcontroller for that purpose. That’s my big plan for my room when I move into the tiny house.

That’s really clever!

KF: Yeah, it’s so nice to be able to garden on tour! From a cell phone!

And what about you Cubby, what other fun side projects are you doing?

CB: Ok. Man Times. I do Lovers, I do Man Times, and then I do…

EK: You write a poetry blog. You paint all the time…

CB: Haha, yeah. I have those…

It’s hard to remember things when you are put on the spot.

CB: Yeah. I have this very slow-moving country music project with a friend. And I paint; I love to paint and draw. And I have a poetry blog, but I kind of keep it on the DL. I don’t give away the address because it’s not something that I edit or anything like that, and I haven’t worked on it in a little while. And then… I like dogs a lot. Haha, I love dogs. Yeah, I guess I’ve been doing a lot of traveling. I’m going to Buenos Aires in December, again. So that will be fun.

What is the most important lesson you’ve received from your experiences as musicians?

EK: I have one: Anything’s possible if you put your mind to it and you work hard. I mean, I was in this punk band and we traveled the world just because we wanted to. It wasn’t like we were super good or anything, but —

KF: You guys were super good!

EK: We weren’t that good, but we went to Australia and Brazil and Europe a couple of times and toured around the country a whole bunch of times. And we just did it because we loved it and we just found a way to do it.

KF: It sure did help me travel!

EK: Haha, yeah. We took Kerby with us. But I just think that — I mean, also I’ve got middle class background, so I guess that helps, but I think that you don’t have to be a trained musician or even know how to play your instrument that well to start a band or to go on tour. You just have to want to do it and reach out for the resources all around.

KF: We’ve talked about this before, but I think this band has changed my relationship to working really hard for something; I feel like this band and the success we’re experiencing right now has really helped me to understand how if you just keep following the kind of energy you want in your life, that the music follows you there. I used to think that maybe it was the opposite, or that I had to figure out exactly in my mind what I was going to make musically, and then the rest would follow; whereas, I think this band has taught me that I can just follow the kind of way I know I want to exist in the music, and then the music follows that, and that’s been a much more beautiful experience. And that’s a nice metaphor for a way to live.

CB: I would say that I’ve learned to trust my intuition and have faith. I’ve been doing this for a long time and it can be really hard on a person. You know, it can be a very vulnerable thing to do with your time, and there have been a number of times where I’ve almost put it down, or tried to, but I can’t. I’m just like, “Ok, I’m just doing this thing and somewhere in my heart it makes sense, if not anywhere else.”

What advice do you have for the broken-hearted?

EK: All you need is you.

KF: I think if you stick with a broken heart, honestly, it will make you stronger. It will make you smarter. If you don’t try to run from what happened, or why it happened, and just really just sort of hold your broken heart and be with it at the time it’s broken, then when it heals, you’ve learned all this stuff that makes you so much smarter. I think sometimes broken hearts can almost make the world a little bit easier if they help you to see the real nature of the world. It can be almost kind of a release. I don’t know. I would hate to have moved through life smoothly; I think I would have missed a lot of points. So I feel very thankful for my trail of broken hearts.

CB: I think one of the reasons why we called the record Dark Light is because the interplay of those two opposites — the darkness gives depth to the light. So it’s just a natural part of the human condition, I think. I try to enjoy it. You know, you’re not a spider, even though [it might seem] nice to be that [simple]. We’re a different kind of animal, and this is part of our beautiful experience. Write a song or a poem. Make it a beautiful thing.

EK: Make it “Man Times.”

CB: Haha, that was also very helpful. Yeah, jokes… jokes are good. Friends are good.

Which song off the new album is the most fun to perform live?

EK: I like to play “Don’t You Want It.”

KF: It’s like a neck and neck time between “Don’t You Want It” and “To Be a Dancer.” I feel like I can’t make it without those two songs live. So much fun!

CB: Yeah, I have the same answer as Kerby. Those two.

Now my one trashy question: are you all single?

EK: Just me.

KF: I’m in a very committed relationship with the Fox — no the Giraffe — in Lavender Mirror. I’m the fox.

Giraffe? Is that the one that plays the driftwood?

KF: Haha, yeah. The driftwood giraffe.

Nice… Oh, ever since I watched your show I can’t say “nice” anymore without feeling self-conscious.

EK: Oh, you mean from “Man Times”?

CB: Sweet, Dude. Nice!

Yeah! I can’t say “nice” anymore. I have to move on from that…

EK: Nice, Dude!

While I’m sitting in the front of the room for Lovers’ set, a gray-haired woman in a pearl snap shirt and large turquoise earrings directly behind me somehow links me with the band and whispers enthusiastically into my ear, “You guys sound really great!”

She’s right. Even with the room half-full, the girls deliver a heartfelt, energetic performance with charming humility. The woman shouts, this time to the real band, “We needed this! This is what we needed!”

25 Things I'm Thankful for (for which I'm thankful, yeah yeah)

2010-11-22T22:48:00.000-08:00

I figure this is a particularly choice time to express my gratitude for some luxuries and creature comforts: agua potable, a roof over my head, freedom of speech, blah blah blah... I think you could have guessed those. In no particular order, a few more to consider:

what's left of my waning metabolism
yoga
chocolate
funny, creative friends
dogs
commercial airlines
literacy
the nose as an alternative to the mouth for breathing
car seat heaters
chapstick
free, fast WiFi (when available)
music I can dance to
The small, cheap rotating fan I purchased from Bed, Bath, and Beyond (with their 20% off mailer coupon, naturally) that I aimed at my face all summer
The Postal Service (not the band)
sex
parking meters that now accept debit/credit cards
Duran Duran (um, have you listened to "Ordinary World" lately?)
efficient public transportation
my cameras… also, that Eastern European website that sells the 127 film I need for my old-school Brownie Holiday
warm, ambient light sources
dental floss
Hazelpoint
my unexpectedly green thumb
cheap sunglasses
attractive, comfortable shoes (well, really any attractive, comfortable clothing item)
life, however long or confusing it ends up being

25 People (and Some Couples) I Want to Sit Next to at My Fantasy Thanksgiving

2010-11-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wish you could throw a few unexpected faces into the mix at Thanksgiving? I'd tack on additional place settings for the following folks:

Eileen Troberman
Christopher Walken
Dave Barry
Teresa Moore
Ellen Page
Paula Deen
Tom Robbins
Debbie Harry
David Byrne
Both Yip-Yip Aliens
Paul Rudd (thanks, Em)
Bill Murray
Joelle Franklin
Ellen DeGeneres
Gavin Newsom (no politics, though)
Natasha Khan
Rachel Crawford
Wayne and Garth (or maybe just Alana Ault)
Lady Gaga (see Ellen DeGeneres link)
Gordon Hull
Weird Al Yankovic
Ron Carroll
Busta Rhymes
Woody Allen
Susan W. Humphreys

Lulu's User-Friendly Guide to Chicken Shit Bingo

2010-08-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

If you think bingo is for suckers, then you obviously haven’t tried the kind that involves chicken poop, bluegrass music, and a lot of beer. Admittedly, chicken shit bingo is not the kind of activity I sought when I was first settling in to Austin. I was even a little incredulous that the game really existed when my new friend, and local guide, Stephen casually tucked “chicken shit bingo” in among other more genial local activities, like swimming at Barton Springs and strolling along South Congress. Nevertheless, six months later, I can assure you that it does exist, and it’s a little nuts.

Having finally conquered the local spectacle that is Ginny’s Little Longhorn Saloon chicken shit bingo, I will offer the following tips for other newcomers to the “sport”:

1. Get there early — but not too early. I arrived with my friend Lani around 4 p.m. on a Sunday, the time advised by some seasoned ChiShiBi aficionado on another website. The action didn’t actually start until about 5 p.m., maybe a little later, but we were in line for that entire hour facing away from the live music and just out of reach of the free…

2. Boiled Hot Dogs. Ginny, who still works the bar, puts a platter of hotdogs out with a number of fixin’s (ketchup, sliced white onion, buns…). If you want to offset the stress of waiting in line for your bingo ticket, you might consider grabbing a dog or two to nosh on in the meanwhile.

3. Bingo tickets, literally old-fashioned movie tickets with a number quickly scribbled on the back, cost $2 each and come at a limit of one per customer. This means that you can’t buy one for both you and your friend who is holding down your seats within eyeshot of the bird action. Plan accordingly.

4. When Ginny named her Longhorn Saloon “Little”, she wasn’t kidding. The place is small even for the rash of usual afternoon tipplers. But then you throw in the Lacoste-shirted co-eds, camera-heavy tourists (guilty), disgruntled tube-top ladies, and the bar staff itself —which includes many sturdy women, a small bluegrass ensemble lead by Dale Watson, and a chicken— it gets uncomfortable pretty quickly. Plan accordingly?

5. Getting the chicken to poop on your number = impossible. You just need to sit back and let the bozos up front work themselves into a clucking frenzy and cross your fingers that the bird isn’t constipated, as it appeared to be on the night we were there. There are 50 bingo squares, I think, onto which Ginny evenly sprinkles chicken feed at the onset of the round. The chicken just goes to town on this stuff, scratching away and occasionally darting after someone’s dangled finger, but mostly doing her unpredictable chicken thing in an uncontrollable manner. About 20 minutes into the affair, Dale Watson plays a slower tune with his boys, and a compact deuce the size of a green grape finally falls unceremoniously out of the chicken and onto someone else’s square. They will then turn in their winning ticket for, I’ve estimated, around $200. Meanwhile you beat a hasty retreat through the thick crowd to bright, white daylight and your vehicle, which is hotter than a brick oven and parked a block away despite how early you showed up.

6. Needless to say, once it’s been determined that there has been an official bowel movement, people go crazy regardless of whether or not it landed on the number they wanted. I mean, I never even determined where my number (49) was on the board but was (sort of) content just to be able to see the bird working her barnyard magic in such an unlikely setting. It just goes to show that, even with money at stake, the heart-and-soul of the experience is that 50 people, mostly strangers, have come together in a cramped, musty bar to raise their Lone Stars and Shiners to an oft-underappreciated ritual. Who needs multiplex entertainment centers when you can, beer in hand, watch a bird shit on a board for (almost) free?

25 Angsty Songs from My Preadolescence

2010-08-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

Angst:

Pronunciation: \ˈäŋ(k)st, ˈaŋ(k)st\

Function: noun

Etymology: Dan & German; Dan, from German

Date: circa 1942

: a feeling of anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity

In case you couldn't figure it out on your own, these are culled from, roughly, between the years 1995 and 1999. In no particular order:

1. Joydrop — "Beautiful"
2. The Sundays — "She"
3. The Cardigans — "My Favourite Game"
4. The Dandy Warhols — "Not If You Were the Last Junkie On Earth"
5. Rammstein — "Du Hast"
6. Garbage — "Stupid Girl"
7. The Cranberries — "Linger"
8. Blink 182 — "What's My Age Again?"
9. Radiohead — "Fake Plastic Trees"
10. Fiona Apple — "Sleep to Dream"
11. The Verve — "Bitter Sweet Symphony"
12. Ben Folds Five — "Battle of Who Could Care Less"
13. Massive Attack — "Teardrops"
14. The Breeders — "Cannonball"
15. Paula Cole — "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?"
16. White Town — "Your Woman"
17. No Doubt — "Just a Girl"
18. Sneaker Pimps — "6 Underground"
19. Beck — "Jack-Ass"
20. Blind Melon — "No Rain"
21. Nine Inch Nails — "Closer"
22. Soundgarden — "Back Hole Sun"
23. Stone Temple Pilots — "Big Bang Baby"
24. Oasis — "Wonderwall"
and the queen of Canadian angst (besides Joydrop, I guess):
25. Alanis Morissette — "Ironic"

Disclaimer: These are just the angsty songs. I listened to a much wider variety (a mix of music like Hanson and Chemical Brothers) when I wasn't painting my nails with White Out and hating on family members from the privacy of my dark, messy room.

25 Addictions

2010-08-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

So many people have commented to me lately about my collection of lists counting down to my 25th birthday, that I feel inspired to continue them.

Thus, I bring you a list of addictive things. I was thinking earlier in the week about how broad the idea of addiction is— and how curious some addictions are! I may be addicted to one or more of the things on this list, but you'll just have to guess on your own which ones ; )

1. Chocolate
2. World of Warcraft
3. Cocaine
4. Texting
5. Cosmetic Surgery
6. Gossip
7. Xanax
8. Spicy food
9. Sex (let's just lump porn, another one, in with that category)
10. Shoes
11. Cigarettes
12. Slot machines
13. Alcohol
14. Stress

15. Shopping
16. Heroin
17. Power
18. Lady Gaga
19. LOST
20. Coffee
21. Running
22. Tattoos
23. Noise
24. The Internet
25. Chapstick

Am I missing anything?

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: 25 Words to Live By

2010-05-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day (more like every other day) leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

Growing up one receives a lot of different advice. Most of it is not worth much, I find. The following are phrases/ideas I return to again and again in my day-to-day life:

1. "Life is what happens when you've made other plans." (John Lennon)

2. "Different strokes for different folks." (hmmm, Sly Stone?) or "It takes all types"

3. "If you want something done right, then you've got to do it yourself." (my mother)

4. "If you are truly present in every moment, you can experience immortality." (My professor, Rachel Crawford, said this to us in class, although she was quoting someone else. I don't remember who that was.)

5. "You can't always get what you want, and if you try sometimes you get what you need." (The Rolling Stones)

6. "Happiness is a clean home." (my mother)

7. "It's better to leave wanting more." (my mother)

8. "Humor is the flexibility of the soul." (me)

9. "Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans." (Max Ehrmann)

10. "Only you can experience the absurdity of your own life." (me)

11. "Things do not change; we change." (Henry David Thoreau)

12. "Let's not be narrow, nasty, and negative." (T.S. Eliot)

13. "Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose." (Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr)

14. "Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance." (Dave Barry)

15. "The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

16. "Everything in moderation."

17. "Admitting you are lost is the first step to finding your way." (me)

18. "Love is just bodies and words." (Ken Taylor)

19. "People don't get into trouble for telling the truth; they get into trouble for the lies they tell to avoid telling the truth." (Jonathan Mahrer)

20. "Not all who wander are lost." (J.R.R. Tolkien)

21. "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." (T.S. Eliot)

22. "The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know." (Socrates)

23. "I do what I want." (Bailey McAllister)

24. "Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you who you are." (Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin)

25. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." (Attributed mostly to Jesus, although I just remember my father saying it)

26. "This, too, shall pass." (Persian proverb) — including this nasty fever I'm currently suffering.

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: 25 Things I Wanted to Be When I Grow Up

2010-05-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day (more like every other day) leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Here is a list of 25 things I have offered in response to that question in the last 25 years, in no particular order.

1. Circus performer
2. Travel agent
3. Artist
4. Lawyer
5. Dermatologist
6. Writer
7. Food critic
8. Nanny
10. Actress
11. Event planner
12. Singer
13. Veterinarian
14. Editor
15. DJ/producer
16. Farmer
17. Make-up Artist
18. Stage Manager
19. Music journalist
20. Mother
21. Gallery curator
22. Dancer
23. Psychologist
24. Professor
25. Flight attendant

Oh, and "princess" is one I probably shouldn't disregard.

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: My 25 Favorite Cookbooks

2010-05-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

I have probably around 100 cookbooks to my name. Most of them I have had to leave with my parents for lack of space at my own place, but I still managed to bring about half of my entire collection with me when I moved to Austin. From the group that made the cut, I use the following books the most often:

1. Family Circle All-Time Baking Favorites (1974)
2. Lulu's Provencal Table (2002) by Richard Olney — given to me by my aunt, Cynthia Cornell.
3. The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters — given to me by my friend, Ann Carmel.
4. The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook (1999) by Ina Garten — given to me by my friend, Scottie Brown.
5. The Gourmet Cookbook (1950)
6. The Joy of Cooking (1962) by Irma S. Rombauer and Marion Rombauer Becker
7. The Williams-Sonoma Collection: Cookies — given to me by my father, Craig McAllister.
8. Feast by Nigella Lawson — given to me by my friend, Virginia Graham.
9. Fondue is In (1970) — I have very little information about this one, but the title should say it all.
10. San Francisco Chronicle Cookbook Volume 2 (2001)
11. Quick and Easy (2004) by Martin Yan
12. Magic Chef Cooking by Dorothy E. Shank for the American Stove Company (1936) — I think this is the oldest cookbook I own. It uses phrases such as "Lemon meringue pie is the acme of deliciousness."
13. Cakes Men Like (1992) by Benjamin Darling — given to me by my uncle, Jud Brooks.
14. The Dessert Cookbook (Southern Living, 1971)
15. This Can't Be Tofu! by Deborah Madison— I think I jacked this from my mom.
16. The Cordon Bleu Cookbook by Dione Lucas — inherited from my late grandmother, Susan W. Humphreys.
17. Old Boston Fare in Food & Pictures by Cynthia and Jerome Ruben — given to me by my friend, Maura Kelly.
18. White Trash Gatherings (2006) by Kendra Bailey Morris — given to me by my uncle, Keith McAllister.
19. Betty Crocker's Cooky Book — I was given this newer edition of a cookie book we used throughout my childhood by my mother, Suzanne McAllister.
20. Bruce Aidell's Complete Book of Pork — given to me by the Sausage King himself.
21. The Sauces and Salsas Cookbook by Christine France
22. Drinkology: The Art and Science of the Cocktail — given to me by my friend, Katie Marshall.
23. Covered in Honey (2003) by Mani Niall
24. Grilled Cheese: 50 Recipes to Make You Melt (2004) by Marlena Spieler
25. My own recipe journal, containing notes and illustrations from ongoing kitchen experimentation and what I've learned from my mother and culinary school.

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: 25 Favorite Music Videos

2010-05-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

Here is a list of some of my favorite music videos of all time. I'll probably leave something out! One thing I can guarantee you is that there is no Nirvana in here.

1. Talking Heads—"Once in a Lifetime"
This may be the first video I ever saw.

2. Simian Mobile Disco—"Hustler"
This video reminds me of most Tuesday nights.

3. Peter Gabriel — "Sledge Hammer"

This is an amazing musical collage from one of the '80s great eccentrics.

4. Bat for Lashes — "What's a Girl to Do?"
I will forever be in awe of BfL leading lady Natasha Khan's combined beauty and mystery, as demonstrated perfectly in this video for one of her early singles.

5. Michael Jackson— "Black or White"
I could really do without the corny Culkin-infused intro on this classic video, but the last 30 seconds are fantastic (and were probably twice as impressive when the video first came out).

6. Yelle —"A Cause de Garcons (TEPR Remix)"
In my final year of college (which was not so long ago), I must have watched this video a million times. The remix is catchy, the moves ("techtonique") were frenetic — and impossible to replicate comfortably.

7. Aphex Twin—"Windowlicker"
This video for crafty experimental glitch producer Aphex Twin is one of the weirdest music videos you'll ever see. It's grotesque and danceable; street and arthouse. Not for the kiddies...

8. Michael Jackson — "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough"
I doubt anyone will hate me for including two from the King of Pop. The video matches the mood of the song perfectly: Jackson disco thrusting around a green-screen fantasy of juke-box rainbows and ambiguously lit marbles. The video makes me feel... well, it just makes me feel so—wwoooooOOOOH!

9. Tears for Fears— "Head over Heels"
Is it just me or could the librarian in this classic '80s vid pass for the next Vice "it" girl?

10. Digitalism—"Pogo"
This is like when your apartment dance party really starts to heat up and someone decides to take it to the next level by flicking the light switch on and off.

Digitalism - Pogo

11. MGMT—"Time to Pretend"
This fresh eye candy from bright-eyed electro-pop duo MGMT revived my faith in the music video during what I perceived to be a dry spell.

12. Air — "Sexy Boy"
I love the integrated cutesy cartoons in this one. The video is subtle; a sweet (as in precious) contrast to the grungy sensuality of the song itself.

13. Air — "Kelly Watch the Stars"
Air has taken a simple concept (a ping-pong match) and made it psychedelic and still managed to give it a story. Beautiful cinematography.

14. Beck—"Loser"
Beck likes to have fun with videos, and he's created some good ones during the breadth of his career. Still, I had to come back to this slacker-cool gem of a video that jump-started his career.

15. U2— "Mysterious Ways"
It's a miracle that this video didn't make me nauseated trying to dance along to it as a three year old.

16. Benoit Pioulard—"Idyll"
One of the shorter ones I've encountered, this video pairs retro song craft with matching vintage clips.

17. Blind Melon—"No Rain"
Who didn't love that pathetic bumblebee girl back in the '90s?

18. Bjork—"All is Full of Love"
Bjork provides a sexier vision of the future here. It's a good example of when a beautiful song meets an interesting visual concept and it hits the spot.

19. Chromeo—"Needy Girl"
I thank my sister for introducing me to Chromeo last decade. The white-dominant color scheme is a path not often chosen in music videos.

20. Joe Jackson—"Steppin' Out"
This song will always remind me of my dad. It's one of his favorite songs, and he always talks about how ugly Joe Jackson is.

21. Massive Attack—"Massive Attack"
I'm not really sure why I like this one. I can't tell if it's creepy or sweet.

22. M.I.A. —"Galang"
OMG it took me about five views to process the intense level of coolness exhibited in this M.I.A. vid. Those moves! Those outfits! The spray-painted warfare! I didn't know what to do with this information. I just... wanted... to be her.

23. Lady Gaga— "Poker Face"
Ya feelin' me?

24. Cooler Kids—"Punk Debutante"
As a 13-year-old, this song showed me how to be both punky and cute at the same time. The lead singer is not a hag, either.

25. Daft Punk— "Around the World"
This video couldn't have come at a better time. My eardrums were being flooded with the likes of Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears on the radio and at school dances, so it was some minor relief to stumble upon this catchy, stupidly simple electronic song with matching quirky video (directed by M. Gondry).

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: Juicy Words That I Rarely Get to Use

2010-05-17T19:29:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

People who know me know that I love words. In fact, friends sometimes heckle me about the strange or antiquated language that sneaks into my day-to-day vocab. Still, there are many 20-dollar words that I wish I could use more often. Here are a few (click to view the definition):

1. Pulchritudinous
2. Asinine
3. Creosote
4. Snafu
5. Inveigle
6. Ampersand
7. Kibitzer
8. Daffy
9. Cerulean
10. Salacious
11. Ziggurat
12. Loquacious
13. Wassail
14. Bizcocho
15. Shuriken
16. Boodle
17. Hireling
18. Flotsam
19. Plenipotentiary
20. Nubile
21. Deleterious
22. Somnambular
23. Intestacy
24. Trollop
25. Xylem
26. Lulu: n. "One that is remarkable or wonderful" ('nuff said?)

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: Hangover Remedies

2010-05-16T18:57:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

By the time you become a quarter centurion you have probably suffered your share of hangovers (I have, anyway). Here is a collection of tips culled from my experience (or my friends' experiences) with a few rough mornings after the bottle:

1. Try to drink an equal amount of water to offset the dehydrating effects of the alcohol you're consuming while you are still out and about. If you are of the mind to remember to do so, drink a tall glass of water and take an Advil before you go to bed. The very minute you wake up—no matter when, no matter how much it hurts—get up and drink another tall glass of water and take another Advil. Now you can go back to sleep. When you get up for good, try the following tonic:

2. Lulu's Tonic

I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure this helps...

4 oz. Aloe juice (the straight stuff... not the bright green sugary stuff)

4 oz. Coconut water

2-3 Tablespoons of wheatgrass powder

1 packet of raspberry Emergen-C (or your preferred flavor)

Stir it all up and drink pretty quickly. Repeat up to three times over the course of the day, as needed.

3. Eat cabbage. Cabbage is good for headaches. Maybe try to sneak some into a breakfast hash.

4. Drink kombucha. It actually contains a small amount of alcohol (a natural biproduct of the fermentation process), so it's kind of like a hair-of-the-dog situation, but it also comes with some electrolytes and good bacteria to replace the ones you killed with alcohol the night before.

5. Drink herbal tea. Peppermint will help soothe an upset stomach and ginger is good for digestion. Lemon is clarifying and good for detox.

6. Don't mix alcohol. Moving from champagne to gin to tequila to cheap beer is going to make for a nasty cocktail in your stomach.

7. Try some tinctures. To about 1 oz. of warm water add a dropper of echinacea, a dropper of ginseng (for energy), and a dropper of dandelion extract (for the liver).

8. Have a "hair of the dog" that bit you. I must admit that this strategy is totally not for me, but I have plenty of friends that swear by it.

9. If standing up is too unbearable, at least prop your head up with a few pillows to limit the amount of blood rushing to your head.

10. Listen to mellow classical music. It stimulates the brain without overwhelming it.

11. Tug lightly on your earlobes. There are a number of stress-relieving pressure points in the ear.

12. Do yoga. Gentle exercise will let you sweat out some of the alcohol without taxing the body too much while it's still in recovery mode.

13. Put a lavender-filled pillow in the freezer and then place it across your eyes.

14. Watch brainless television to distract yourself from the pain.

15. If you have time to spare, you could always sleep off the hangover. Otherwise:

16. Take a cold shower.

17. If you have to snap-to despite the hangover, make sure to take a nap later in the day. Drunken sleep is actually not a very restful sleep, regardless of how zonked you felt heading off to bed the night before.

18. Drink a sports drink (like Gatorade or Smart Water) to replenish electrolytes.

19. Take some Vitamin B(6).

20. I'd prefer to eat an egg integrated into my breakfast, but you could always streamline your attack and down a few raw eggs. Crack the eggs into a glass with some water and down the hatch!

21. Have a few slices of apple dipped in peanut butter. The peanut butter is a good source of protein and the apples are easy to digest.

22. Drink pickle or olive juice.

23. Take an Alka Seltzer tablet in water or drink some sparkling water to relieve nausea.

24. Get a massage. Maybe you can convince a friend to rub your back if you promise to get them back the next time they miss the mark drink-wise. Otherwise, what better time to treat yourself to a professional massage? Unless you are feeling nauseated...

I feel compelled to reiterate that I'm not a doctor just to cover myself. Try these remedies at your own risk. Lastly:

25. Know your limits and try to adhere to them when you're out on the town next time so that you don't repeat this mistake— good luck!

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: Food I Want to Eat When I Visit San Francisco

2010-05-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

If I wanted to grab a bite to eat at all my favorite food stops during a visit to San Francisco, I'd probably just have to move back there. My friend Clark asked me for this list a while ago. So here you are—long overdue—some places (and their best offerings) on my SF food-lover's shortlist:

1. Xiao Long Bao at Shanghai Noodle House
2. Tofu sandwich at Little Vietnam Cafe
3. Fried pumpkin at Ploy II Thai Cuisine
4. Egg puffs and Thai iced tea with tapioca or fresh watermelon juice at Genki
5. Cold sesame soba noodles at Mifune
6. Indian-style pizza at Zante
7. A mixed platter (complete with spongy injera bread) at Assab Eritrean Cuisine
8. Ceviche, fried yuccas with salsa huancaina, chupe de camarones, and a pisco sour at La Mar
9. Pasta at Vivande (R.I.P.)
10. Deep dish pizza at Little Star Pizza
11. Thin crust pizza at Pizzetta 211
12. Whatever they tell me to get at House of Nanking
13. Mac 'n' cheese and birthday cake from DeLessio Market
14. Eggs Benedict and a mimosa at Zazie
15. Fried peach hand-pie from From Hollow Farm
16. Bonbolones (filled with raspberry jam, vanilla custard, or Nutella) at I Preferiti di Boriana
17. Seafood chowder and coconut cream pie from Cafe Maritime
18. Oysters at Hog Island Oyster Co
19. Lobster Roll at Woodhouse Fish Co.
20. A glass of red at Blush, a glass of white at Wine Bar, and a flute of champagne at EOS Wine Bar
21. Oolong tea tasting at Aroma
22. Traditional tea service at Lovejoy's
23. Untraditional tea service at Samovar
24. Carnitas taco from La Taqueria
25. Lucuma ice cream from Mitchell's
26. Salted caramel ice cream from Bi-Rite Creamery & Bakeshop
27. Truffled chevre, aloe juice with wheat grass, and those naughty little locally made shortbread-caramel-chocolate bars with a name that escapes me right now at Bi-Rite Grocery
28. Banana milkshake from Whiz Burger
29. Milk chocolate milkshake from Bittersweet
30. The roasted veggie platter and accompanying dips at Herbivore
31. Tuesday shredded Mediterranean chicken sandwich, dolma, hummus, and a sesame cookie at Twilight Cafe
32. Hot chocolate with marshmallows from Recchiuti Chocolatier
33. Shortbread and meringues from Miette
34. Burger at Q Restaurant and Wine Bar
35. Pancakes at Toast
36. A samosa and mango chicken noodles or fish chowder with fresh coconut juice at Yamo
37. Late night french fries or charcuterie plate and pint of Thunderpussy from Magnolia Gastropub and Brewery
38. Cowgirl Creamery Redhawk cheese to go with my
39. Ciabbata from Acme Bread
40. Tamales from the Tamale Lady to go with my Anchor Steam at Zeitgeist
41. Spaetzle at Suppenkuche
42. A morning gougere or 5 p.m. olive bread from Tartine
43. Pupusas from El Zocalo
44. Falafel pita from Good Frickin' Chicken
45. Plato tipico at Balompie Cafe
46. Cafe mocha from Blue Bottle Coffee Co
47. Tamarind prawns at Mangosteen
48. Wild boar sausage at Rosamunde Sausage Grill
49. Bay Area beignet and deviled eggs at The Elite Cafe
50. Bar nuts and a Southern Exposure at The Alembic

Ok, so I went over 25 items this time. That ought to keep you busy for a little while, Clark...

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: Things I Can't Live Without

2010-05-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

These are my creature comforts. Sure, some of these things I can live without, but would I ever want to? Again, in no particular order:

1. Ockie (That's short for "Oinky"— my stuffed pig and oldest friend)
2. My computer (and the Internet, for that matter)
3. Fresh fruit and vegetables
4. Time spent with animals (Lucy, preferably)
5. Chocolate
6. Music (live, new, strange, sweet, old...)
7. Comfortable footwear (to offset all the times I choose to wear cool, uncomfortable footwear)

8. Water (obviously for drinking, but also for swimming and landscape relief)
9. Pockets
10. Comic relief (from funny people like Liz Carroll, Thomas Madden, Ellen DeGeneres...)
11. Duct tape and push pins
12. A seasoned frying pan
13. Neosporin
14. AC
15. Emollient chapstick
16. Creative downtime
17. Soft natural light (harsh artificial lighting is one of my biggest dislikes)
18. Mascara
19. My camera
20. A good confidant
21. American Apparel underwear (colorful, comfortable)

22. The ring my mother gave me when I turned 18 (given to her by her mother when she was 18)
23. Romance
24. Bass (I can hang with punk guitar, but I was raised on bass)
25. Variety

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: Things to Love about Austin

2010-05-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

I've lived in Austin for almost four months. I loved it before I decided to move here and I love it even more now that I live here. Here is just a sampling of what's good in and around the ATX, in no particular order:

1. Heat (Austin has it in spades)
2. Bluebonnets
3. Lone Star beer
4. Alamo Draft House
5. BBQ (in Austin, this means smoked brisket)
6. Barton Springs
7. Cowboy boots
8. Sandra Bullock (owns a local watering hole, an upscale deli with the best pastrami sandwich in town, and a bistro)
9. Breakfast tacos
10. Two-step
11. Street misprunawnciations, y'all (i.e. Manchaca = Machack; Pedernales = Purduhnawlus; Guadalupe = Guadaloop, etc...)
12. Whole Foods
13. The Austin experimental art scene
14. Sweet tea
15. Follow That Bird! (I would also say Neon Indian, but he moved to Brooklyn with the rest of 'em)
16.

17. Dai Due
18. Waterloo Records
19. Red River Street
20. The Frost Building

21. BookPeople
22. Boggy Creek Farm
23. South Congress
24. Burnet Rd. thrift stores (especially if you're looking for mid-century modern)
25. Austinites (quite possibly the friendliest weirdos in the world)

Quarter Life Crisis Countdown: Kitchen Staples

2010-05-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a list of 25 items each day leading up to my birthday at the end of the month to celebrate 25 years of gathered wisdom and useless information.

I'll begin with a place of great importance to me: the kitchen. In a financial pinch, I can still whip up something tasty as long as I have the following items in my pantry:

1. Lemons (I actually prefer the taste of limes, but they are smaller and often more expensive)

2. Parmesan

3. Olive oil

4. Sesame oil

5. Peanut Butter

6. Vegetable stock (I usually make my own)

7. Ginger

8. Garlic

9. Honey (which my mother has kindly sent me from her own bees in San Diego — Thanks, Mom!)

10. Cinnamon

11. Nutmeg

12. Salt

13. Pepper

14. Eggs

15. Pita bread

16. Mustard

17. Jam

18. Balsamic vinegar

19. Dried herbs (such as sage, rosemary, and thyme — dried parsley does nothing for me)

20. Hot sauce

21. Soy Sauce

22. Pasta

23. Cabbage (lasts for an eternity)

24. Pickles

25. Champagne and chocolate (tastes good in any economy)

Mangia!

Lulu's User-Friendly Guide to: Po' Boys

2010-04-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

Ah, the Big Easy. A city where glittering beads hang year-round like Spanish Moss from all the oak trees along St. Charles Avenue. A city where colorful old mansions exist one district away from boarded-up, hurricane-wrecked houses longing for the next Brad Pitt to come give them a second life. A city where spicy, soulful cooking goes hand-in-hand with the lively year-round music scene. Certainly, if there's one thing you can count on in this town, it's eating well.

Whether eaten in or taken picnic-style to nearby Jackson Square park, a generous sandwich is one of New Orleans' favorite ways to take it "easy." In this regard, Muffuletta is queen and the po' boy is her king.

On my trip to New Orleans last weekend, I decided to dive into the latter. The po' boy is a submarine sandwich featuring an airy French-style bread stuffed with fried meat or seafood. Far from the simple arrangement that it appears to be on paper, this sandwich is unique in its very particular chewy, flaky bread— not quite a baguette, but not quite a brioche. The folks at Johnny's Po' Boy have it down pat.

The po' boys I saw (ate) were pretty enormous. Since they often involve fried seafood (read: doesn't keep well), it would be wise to order one sandwich to split with a friend if you're in the market. In Austin (where I live) a buddy recently ordered an awesome sweetbread po' boy, and my recently New Orleanian host Nick ordered an alligator sausage 'po boy during my visit. Both versions were delicious! Spicy alligator sausage 'po boy at The Crazy Lobster:

To keep things traditional, however, one really ought to try the oyster or shrimp po' boy. To get the right consistency —the crunch that highlights perfect, brought-in-today seafood— the oysters and shrimp should be breaded in semolina and then fried. After that, the basic set-up involves only the bread and the fried filling. To get a sandwich with additional fixings included (mayo, lettuce, and tomato), ask for it "dressed." Pickles and mustard are another option one has to request specifically, but I recommend skipping those to enjoy the subtleties of the seafood. Oyster and shrimp po' boys:

What goes with a po' boy? Some purists stay away from any possible distractions (including additional dining partners) when they are committing a lunch hour to this famous sandwich. I personally think nothing beats a tall sweet tea or cola and french fries or potato chips (this festive local kind, Zapp's, did the trick):

Lastly, what's in the name? The origin of the sandwich's name is an ongoing debate in Louisiana. My favorite version is that during the Great Depression, you could get the no-frills sandwich (fried filling tucked into bread, sans fixings) free with a nickel beer — perfect for a poor boy. Or a poor girl, as it were.

The Way to Little Beach

2009-10-25T18:39:00.000-07:00

Little Beach, on the South-East shore of Maui, is a church for some and a hideaway for many. To get there, in short, hitchhike to Makena (past all the resorts of manicured Wailea), walk past Big Beach and up over the rocky cliffs to the small beach on the other side. The drum circle and considerable lack of bathing suits will let you know you've arrived at Little Beach.

Lulu's User-Friendly Guide to Pruning Banana Clumps

2009-09-19T21:13:00.000-07:00

As a WWOOFer at Hale Akua Garden Farm, I take care of all sorts of plants: taro, Hawaiian ginger, tumeric, bok choy, carrots, beets, okra, etc. One of my more exciting responsibilities is caring for our 30+ banana plants using a very serious machete.

Thus, I give you an overview of what this task entails...

1. Pull all the weeds and extraneous grass away from the base of the clump. This will give you a clean workspace and room to consider the dense structure of the plant at hand. My boss is very exacting, so I’ve gotten used to doing a lot of weeding. Mostly, in this case it just looks nice.

2. Bananas like to keep a close-knit O’hana (Hawaiian for "family"): a daddy, a mommy, a teenager, and a baby (or one mature mommy and one less mature mommy – however PC you’d like to make this scenario, be my guest). Either way, kill the rest of the family with a giant machete. The stalks that are preparing to bear fruit get to stay. In addition to those, keep one slightly smaller one and also one young shoot. Cutting back family members will help ensure that the surviving ones have enough nutrients to bare fruit.

3. Use the bodies from the offed family members to fertilize the remaining family members: cut trunks into thirds and place around the base of the plant. Put the large leaves around as well, and tuck into the free space in between stalks.

4. Be careful not to hit your head on the enormous banana flower as you are moving around the clump.

5. Harvest the bananas (the actual fruits) the moment they begin to turn from green to yellow.

And check out this delicious baked treat from Gourmet that we prepared using our harvested bananas.

Lulu's User-Friendly Guide to: Hitchhiking Maui

2009-09-04T03:05:00.000-07:00

On the North Shore of Maui, hitchhiking is a way of life.

Snagging a Ride:

1. Remember the buddy system? It worked in shopping malls and Disneyland, and it works on Hawaii's Hana Highway, too. Having a friend with you may limit your options for rides, but it will help if you get into a sticky situation.

2. Nothing says "pick me up" like a sundress -- even if you're a guy. No, just kidding. But, in the least, try to look presentable.

3. Find a good location. Cars whipping around corners are generally in no position to stop for you. If you can walk to a straightaway, then you will give your approaching car more time to notice your needs and your sundress.

4. To smile or not to smile? That depends on your teeth. If you're missing teeth or sporting some gold, lay low with all of that. Retainers and braces will make you seem like a runaway. If the smile doesn't match the sundress, just keep a neutral expression.

5.

6. Generally, you either get a customer immediately (within five minutes) or never. If you are willing to walk to your destination, you might pause every couple of minutes to try again in a new spot.

7. Try to keep a positive outlook, because it can't hurt. If you look fun and hopeful, you may get more bites than if you are dragging your heels and bumming-out on the side of the road.

Hitchhiker Etiquette:

1. Make sure you know the address or intersection of where you are going to (unless it's a landmark or something generally well-known). Civilian drivers, even if they are knowledgeable locals, are not tour guides; they may not know where the road with a "big guava tree" and "lots of mailboxes" just "a little past Haiku" is.

1. Yes, for the 20-minute drive home, you are a God-fearing (boy/girl). If the topic never comes up, no need to bring it up. If it does, it's better to at least pretend to have some interest in The Almighty (whoever that might be to your driver) if you don't already. I realize this may be a bit of compromise to your integrity, but the ride will be much smoother for it.

2. Avoid political banter, as well. At a dinner party, you can walk away when things get heated between liberal you and your newly conservative friend from high school. In a car, you can't walk away from your driver, but your driver can and certainly will kick you out of his or her car. If your driver brings up something political, listen patiently or perhaps express curiosity rather than an opinion.

3. DON'T hitchhike with really valuable things you wish to hold onto. Need I explain why?

4. DO, perhaps, bring something nice you can give your driver if she, as a favor to you, decides to go beyond her own destination. This gift could be a beer, a piece of choice fruit or chocolate, a friendship bracelet... you get the idea. Fruit is generally a safe bet. BUT, remember that you are under no obligation as a hitchhiker to compensate your driver -- unless he brings it up initially, before you get in, and you agree.

5. Some Maui drivers like to party on the way home from Paia. If they are drinking, wait for the next car. It's up to you whether or not you want to smoke the peace pipe. Drivers probably won't be offended if you don't want to partake.

5. Remember to say "Please" and "Mahalo."

Lulu's User-Friendly Guide to: Savory Summer Foods to Keep You Cool

2009-07-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

Summer is the home of frozen treats: popsicles, ice cream cones, and ice cream sandwiches (yes, shameless self-promotion). But one can't survive on sweets alone -- trust me, I've tried. So what can you do to keep cool during meal time? Here are a few of my favorite cold savory dishes from my cookbook collection for you to try during these sweltering dog days of summer:

Gazpacho

A classic summer stand-by that hails from Spain. This soup combines the coolness of cucumbers with the tangy acidity of tomatoes and garlic.

Ingredients:

1 hothouse cucumber, halved and seeded, but not peeled

2 red bell peppers, cored and seeded

4 plum tomatoes

1 red onion

3 garlic cloves, minced

23 ounces tomato juice (3 cups)

1/4 cup white wine vinegar

1/4 cup good olive oil

1/2 tablespoon kosher salt

1 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper

Directions:

Roughly chop the cucumbers, bell peppers, tomatoes, and red onions into 1-inch cubes. Put each vegetable separately into a food processor fitted with a steel blade and pulse until it is coarsely chopped. Do not overprocess!

After each vegetable is processed, combine them in a large bowl and add the garlic, tomato juice, vinegar, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mix well and chill before serving. The longer gazpacho sits, the more the flavors develop. Serves 4. (Source: Garten, Ina. The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook, 1999)

Bibb lettuce with lump crab and creamy basil dressing

This delicate lettuce pairs nicely with the cool flakes of crab meat and sweet basil dressing.

Ingredients:

1 to 1 1/2 lbs of jumbo lump crabmeat
1 head of Bibb lettuce
---
1 cup loosely packed fresh basil
1 tablespoon chopped shallot
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar (or white wine vinegar if you'd like the green to really pop)
1/2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
a few cracks of black pepper
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

Directions:

Combine the second group of ingredients in a blender until smooth. Place cleaned Bibb lettuce leaves down on a plate (or in a martini glass, if you're feeling festive), top with crab meat, and drizzle dressing over the top. Serves 4.

Shrimp and Scallop Seviche

I'll be going to Peru before the year is over, so naturally my thoughts turn to this classic Peruviano take on seafood. This recipe comes from my good friend (and excellent home chef) Virginia Graham.

Ingredients:

2 lbs. of shrimp, cooked and peeled

1 lb of raw scallops, thinly sliced

1 cup of fresh lime juice (about six limes)

6 Tablespoons of finely chopped red onion

4 Tablespoons of chopped fresh parsley

2 Tablespoons of finely chopped green pepper

1/2 cup of olive oil

1/2 teaspoon of oregano

Dash of Tabasco

1 teaspoon salt

Freshly ground black pepper

2 avocados, peeled and sliced

Directions:

Cut the shrimp in half, down the center and then bisect (you should get four pieces per shrimp). Mix with the scallops in a bowl. Three to four hours before serving, marinate the seafood in the lime juice at room temperature. Cover and let stand for one hour, stirring occasionally. Drain and discard the juice. Add all the remaining ingredients to the seafood, except the avocado, and toss lightly. Chill for an hour. Finally, arrange on plates with the avocado. Yum!

Prosciutto e melon

It really doesn't get any easier than this salty-sweet Italian dish. The important thing is to get really good ingredients. If you can get your hands on a Charentais melon, do! They are especially sweet and fragrant. Otherwise, cantaloupe should do the trick.

Ingredients:

1 Charentais melon

1 package of prosciutto ham

Directions:

Quarter melon and then slice flesh away from the rind so that you end up with crescents. Bisect each crescent to get more manageable pieces. Remove thin slices of prosciutto from the package and wrap completely around melon. Pop in mouth and enjoy!

Cold Soba Noodles

Noodles may not be the first thing that springs to mind when you're in need of something refreshing, but I always crave these noodles on a muggy summer night ever since I tried them in Japan a few years back.

Ingredients:

1/2 lb. soba noodles
2 cups finely shredded napa cabbage
1 tsp. sesame oil
2 Tbsps. vegetable oil
2 Tbsps. seasoned rice vinegar
2 tsps. soy sauce
2 tsps. sweet chili sauce
1 tsp. grated fresh ginger
1/4 cup sliced Japanese pickled ginger
2 Tbsps. chopped cilantro
2 green onions, julienned
1 tsp. toasted sesame seeds

Directions:

In a large pot of boiling water, cook noodles according to package directions; drain, rinse with cold water, and drain again. Place noodles in a large bowl. Add napa cabbage and sesame oil; toss until evenly combined.

Combine dressing ingredients in a medium bowl; mix well. Pour dressing over noodle mixture. Add pickled ginger, cilantro, and green onions. Toss to evenly coat and let chill in fridge. Garnish with sesame seeds and serve. Serves 4. (Source: Yan, Martin. Martin Yan's Quick & Easy, 2005)
Stay cool!

Lulu's User-Friendly Guide to: Air Sex

2009-06-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

Air guitar? Boring. Anyone can pick up an invisible Les Paul and crank out a few unchallenged power chords. I mean, the music’s already there – you really just go along for a little self-indulgent ride. Where’s the room for criticism in that?

On the other hand, picking up an invisible lover and finessing your way into his or her “bedroom” – now that is a different story. No doubt, making love to thin air is a skill, one that not all “air sex” proponents and performers have necessarily mastered.

As the name suggests, air sex is what you call it when an individual simulates sexual activity with an invisible partner. A group of bored, unsatisfied Japanese men are reported to have shaped the would-be private activity into an official music-driven, formally judged performance art competition in 2006. Some of the men’s moves leave me wondering what the receiving end would look like, were she more than just oxygen (and nitrogen and carbon dioxide). It would seem that sex is truly no holds barred when you are dancing with yourself in front of a group of indiscriminate, enthusiastic observers.

It didn’t take long for this bizarre pastime to trickle into the U.S., where it arrived stateside as an elaborately choreographed, straight-to-YouTube spectacular by a group of creative high school romeos with a thing for one very special ottoman…

…and was later adopted by Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse in 2007 as an official competition that would go on to sweep the country, one dry hump at a time.

Tonight, the Air Sex World Championship 2009 Tour is making a stop at one of my favorite San Diego venues, The Casbah. This is a notably small space for what is likely to be a sweaty, highly gesticular affair, so I have high hopes for an inspiring evening. If I’m lucky, I’ll pick up a few pointers… and maybe a date?

Update!

I'm still recovering from that experience. Here are a few glimpses of my favorite moments from the San Diego Air Sex Championships:

And a clip of my favorite routine (not really air sex -- more robotic bedroom dancing):

Check Out the Cream Queenz Blog!

2009-06-24T12:17:00.001-07:00

Check out our Cream Queenz blog to see what we're up to and follow us on Twitter: CreamQueenz.

Behold the Cream Queenz

2009-06-17T22:23:00.001-07:00

I've landed in San Diego for the summer. Now what? In addition to taking care of Miss Lucille...

I'm now part of an ice cream sandwich cart venture called The Cream Queenz.

Queen Chelsea with the Creme Anglaise

Pouring our first test batch of vanilla into the small mixer.

You spin me right round, Baby, right round...

Soft stage... Ready for the freezer.

Into the pail it goes...

...and into the freezer.

Time to do the ice cream dance while we wait for it to freeze!

Voila!

Sessed with: Kap Bambino

2009-05-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

I first saw Kap Bambino at their Elysium performance at South By South West. Lead singer Caroline Martial thrashed back and forth across the stage in cut up jean shorts, lace tights, a bowler hat, and a black leather jacket, punctuating conductor Orion Bouvier's speed-grunge tracks with ample head bangs and fist pumps. Martial is a tiny, irreverent force to be reckoned with wielding a mic and a toothy, dimpled grin.

Kap Bambino at Elysium:

Here is the band's video for "Red Sign":

And, lastly, check out their music vid for "Dead Lazers":

I think I'm in love.

Lulu’s 24-Hour 24th Birthday/Goodbye Party Extravaganza

2009-05-07T14:35:00.000-07:00

May 28^th

Noon – 2 p.m. Ferry Building Market

4 p.m. – 6 p.m. Happy hour at Zeitgeist in the Mission

6:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. Costume change at home

7:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. Dinner at Little Star Pizza

10 p.m. (doors at 8:30 p.m.) – Tiga at The Independent, $18 adv, 21+

It was between this show and the Black Moth Super Rainbow/School of Seven Bells show at Bottom of the Hill. Tough decision, but I reasoned The Independent is easier to get to (especially for the USF crowd) and I hoped this would mean more people would come. If you’d still like to argue for the other show, feel free…

Cocktails and gentle conversation at the Shea-Cortes-Tony Penthouse following the show.

May 29^th(my actual birthday)

9:30 a.m. – 11 a.m. Breakfast at Zazie in Cole Valley

Let me know ahead of time if you’d like to come to this. If I can get six people on board I can actually make a reservation and then we won’t have to wait so long.

11:30 a.m. – 1 p.m. Stroll through Golden Gate Park (which may or may not end up at the Bison Paddock).

1 p.m. – 2 p.m. Lunch at Old Shanghai Restaurant in the Outer Richmond

Xiao Long Bao! Delicious.

2 – 4 p.m. Downtime in the apartment. Come help me with last minute packing.

4 p.m. – 6 p.m. Hanging out at Velo Rouge Cafe for happy hour

6 p.m. – 9 p.m. Dinner at home. Come prepared to help.

9:30 p.m. à DJ Pilooski – 103 Harriet St. See here for more details.

Late night wine and finger painting at my place afterwards? Maybe.

Naked Ambition

2009-05-07T01:05:00.000-07:00

Having scrunched my underwear up next to my car keys in an elementary-school style cubby, I exited the changing room at Harbin Hot Springs, a clothing-optional resort in Lake County, CA. My body was tightly wrapped with a stone blue organic hemp towel I had purchased only moments beforehand at the resort’s patchouli-scented gift shop after realizing mine was still back at the Bed & Breakfast in Calistoga where I was staying. “Oh, I love that book!” a fully clothed woman holding a small child said to me upon my immediate exit from the building. Other than my new earth-friendly towel, the only thing I had on me was a copy of Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Pretty soon, I would ditch the towel and join the many other towel-free individuals visiting the resort that afternoon. Can you blame me for wanting a prop? “Yeah, I can’t put it down,” I replied, carefully ignoring the naked bodies moving singly or in small herds on either side of us.

That exchange felt normal enough. Once the clothes come off, however, conversation takes on a new kind of delicacy. For me anyways, au natural isn’t entirely natural. I have lots of questions. For instance, when talking to a naked stranger, how close should you be? Where do you look? Do you acknowledge your mutual nakedness, if applicable? Do these guidelines change when just one person is naked? It’s hard to know how to interact in the buff.

Earlier in the week, I dropped in for a glass or two with a friend at a Castro wine bar called Blush!. As Anna and I were settling our bill, a lanky Adonis of a man wearing nothing but a scruffy beanie and red, Hot Cookie underpants pulled up for a beer a few seats down from us. He proceeded to tuck into his beverage like any other businessman who had come in that evening for a glass of Pinot or Syrah. And why shouldn’t he? Nudists probably appreciate happy hour just as much as the next guy.

Outside the bar, Anna and I shared an après-drink cigarette (a rarity for me, not so much for Anna), directly across the sidewalk from Mr. Hot Cookie himself, who had retained his hat but somehow lost his underwear. Staring at our friend (and his friend), Anna began giggling nervously and I knew immediately that she was mustering up the courage to do something silly. “I want to tell him he has a nice body!” she shouted into my ear. I think he was already on to us by this point. “Well, you might as well do it, then” I advised patiently. I held onto the last of our cigarette while Anna approached this man nearly twice her height with a Prince Albert piercing like a five-year-old attempting to ask a Disney character for an autograph. I’m not sure what I was expecting out of the situation, but the man appeared pleased with Anna, and soon I was being motioned over to place my hand on a sensuous stomach and smile for a photograph – his, not ours. Whatever his ultimate intention, this man had stumbled upon a great conversation starter.

At Harbin, on the other hand, conversation seems to be generally discouraged. Signs posted around each of the pools warn guests to “Refrain from loud conversation or sexual activity.” A reasonable request, I suppose.

Aside from its obvious associations, Harbin is also famous for its natural spring pools. One is super cold, one is super hot (up to 115 degrees – yowsah!), and one is just right. This pool – the “warm pool” – is approximately the temperature of amniotic fluid. It’s Harbin’s most popular and, despite being the largest, also the pool with the highest per capita of naked bodies. When I first entered this particular pool, there were only a handful of people: two couples spinning in slow, aimless circles in each other’s arms (unsexually, of course) and a few meditating wallflowers. The edge of the pool was lined with half-empty water bottles and well-thumbed books (I got one thing right, at least). I placed my own book down, gingerly lowered my towel and, thankfully, found a spot against the side of the pool within a matter of seconds.

Have you ever sat in a small waiting room with a handful of other people and no magazines to read or Top 40 radio to blot out the silence? Sitting in Harbin’s warm pool is a little like that, but with water and lots of skin. A couple on the wall to my left sounded like they might have been breaking the "No Horseplay" rule, but a quick sidelong glance revealed them to be in some deep meditative ecstasy and enjoying whatever subdued, throaty utterances came along with it. In my own space, I alternated between playing with the tiny bubbles that formed on my arms, watching small bits of unmistakably organic human matter float past me, and pretending to meditate in order to keep myself from accidentally staring at someone’s genitals.

Note: This is not me.

Entering the pool was surprisingly easy – few people are willing to stare at you while you face them directly. Exiting the pool is a different matter. Since I had initially doggy-paddled my way to the side of the pool, the space had filled up considerably and there would be no departure without an audience. Does this sound conceited? Well, for a pool full of naked people who can’t converse or canoodle (or play marco polo, for that matter), an ascending rump is as exciting as it gets. No doubt, I turned to peek with all the rest of them. I saw all shapes and sizes of light, dark, bruised, dimpled, pimpled, wrinkled, swollen and stunning bums. I was truly “swimming in the gene pool,” as my mother has often said in crowded metropolitan places (though not nearly as appropriately as she would have on this occasion). The range of bodies was indeed reassuring to my own feeling of vulnerability. Still, I decided to wait for more pool-goers to leave before I inevitably shared my own bare bottom with a pool full of curious onlookers.

More people entered the pool, my fingers pruned, and I finally decided it was time to get out. I rose up the pool steps amid thunderous applause and chaotic splashing – no, only kidding. I stepped up, felt a slight breeze, and within seconds the coarse fibers of my organic towel were pressed tightly to my skin again. It wasn’t a big deal at all.

With a few hours still left on my resort day pass, I decided to leave. If someone had told me earlier in the week that I would get bored at a clothing-optional resort, I would have laughed. Yet, au natural had suddenly become too natural and the thrill was gone. I had become just another peaceful body wandering a small chunk of the Earth that honors less clothing. The novelty of being naked with other naked people had been replaced by the sort of calm that the resort promised all along.

Perhaps next time I'll join Mr. Hot Cookie in the Castro instead. A nude wine bar outing sounds more my style anyways.

Taste San Francisco

2009-04-08T14:48:00.000-07:00

As part of their 2nd Saturday series of monthly exhibitions, Root Division Gallery (3175 17th Street) will host Taste 2009, an exhibition exploring what we eat, the way we eat, & where our food comes from. Guest curator Sarah Klein has lined up an exciting selection of participating artists such as Natalia Becker, Mary Parisi, Scott Weaver, and others (including Yours Truly) to demonstrate their connection to food through art.

The opening reception for the exhibit will take place this Saturday, April 11th from 7-10 p.m. and will feature a musical performance by Even Pie, delicious food and beverages by Sandwiches by Frank of the Hometown Grocery & Deli, and -- not to be missed -- a 9-foot tall toothpick sculpture of San Francisco. The event is free, although there is a suggested donation of $1-$20.

Can't make the reception? Don't worry. The exhibit will be up through April 25th.

Root Division

3175 17th St. (@ S. Van Ness)

San Francisco, CA

(415) 863-7668

www.rootdivision.org

Seattle in 48 Hours

2009-04-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

Seattle is an easy get-away for San Franciscans. It's just a few hours up the coast and, if you wait for a decent fare on JetBlue or Virgin America, you don't have to pay an arm and a leg to go there. If you go the couchsurfing route, as I did, you can save even more money. Spend it instead at one of the interesting local places that I visited on my trip to interview Seattle band Anomie Belle:

Pike Place Market

Not exactly a secret spot, but still worth a mention. This market place showcases an amazing variety of local produce, cheeses, jams and, of course, seafood, which is thrown with aplomb across impressive distances in front of a mess of tourists who come expressly to see it (I won't exclude myself from that category).

Within the market place, you will find the following vendors:

Since 1911, Market Spice (85 A Pike Street, Seattle, WA 98101) has been collecting and crafting tea blends like their naturally sweet classic, cinnamon-orange tea. This blend packs a punch that lasts through about three refills of hot water and doesn't need any sugar.

I got my dad some unusual peach and raspberry-based pepper jellies for his birthday at this charming Pike Place jam stopover. Woodring Orchard Jams (1529 Pike Pl, Seattle, WA 98101; (206) 340-2705) offers an amazing variety. For my own pantry, I bought a perfectly sweet-tart golden raspberry jam.

Those who haven't completely abandoned carbs will be like a kid in a candy story at the Pasta Guys stand (1501 Pike Pl, Seattle, WA 98101; (206) 430-4114). Colorful, textured pasta sits in about 30-50 different piles like heaps of exotic kitchen jewels. I bought packs of lemon parsley mafaldine, cracked pepper fettucine, and dark chocolate linguine. Admittedly, I have yet to serve the last one, but I'm eager to figure out how. I'm thinking cook it, cool it, and make a "bird's nest" for ice cream and raspberries. Perhaps you have a better idea.

If you've ever wanted a quick 'n' dirty education about cheese, Beecher's Handmade Cheese (1600 Pike Pl, Seattle, WA 98101; (206) 956-1964) is a good place to go. You can watch the cheese-making process from start (curdling the milk) to finish (drying the cheese) and taste the results at Beecher's long cheese counter. The store carries their own award-winning lines and those of other local cheese artisans.

Not too far from Pike Place market is the striking Seattle Public Library.

The unusually shaped building has neon yellow escalators with installation art and an excellent view of the downtown area through high diamond-shaped windows.

The Showbox, Anomie Belle's favorite local venue, is also within walking distance of Pike Place.

Outside the city, the neighborhoods have just as much to offer. If you go in the spring, the suburban streets are bursting with cherry blossoms, daffodils, dogwoods, and other amazing flowers.

Fremont is where you will find some good coffee:

Caffe Vita Coffee Roasting Co.

4301 Fremont Ave. N

Fremont, WA (and other locations in Capitol Hill, Queen Anne, Olympia, and Seward Park)

The people of Caffe Vita embark on "Farm Direct" sourcing trips to places like Ethiopia, Mexico, and Papua New Guinea, thereby involving the coffee farmers themselves in the process from start to finish. One of the most popular of their "Farm Direct" coffee is the organic Sumatran blend.

Lighthouse Roasters also brews a mighty fine cup.

And The Oddest Landmark Award goes to this apparently little-known Fremont road feature:

The Fremont Troll

In Wallingford you will find plenty of neighborhood gems:

Stop in to Irwin's Neighborhood Bakery & Coffee House (2123 N 40th St., Seattle, WA 98103; (206) 675-1484) for a cup of their homemade soup or a biscuit sandwich: ingredients tucked into a calzone-style sandwich made out of biscuit dough. A little heavy, but intriguing. It might be a good idea to get something and take it for a picnic in nearby Gas Works Park.

Given Seattle's fresh seafood, it might not be a bad idea to try some sushi while in the area. Rain Modern Infusion Cuisine (2208 North 45th Street, Seattle, WA 98103) specializes in modern Japanese cuisine and serves up unique creations like their "Get Wet" roll. Happy hour (4 p.m. -- 6 p.m.) is an especially good deal if you are hungry for fresh seafood earlier in the day.

With the money you've saved at happy hour, why not splurge on something sweet just up the street?

You might think the line out the door at neighborhood ice creamery Molly Moon's (1622 1/2 N. 45th St., Seattle, WA 98103) is just a community response to the first warm, precious days of spring time, but my friends tell me that wait here is usually pretty long. As well it should be for a place that makes their waffle cones right in front of you and offers fresh homemade ice cream in flavors like strawberry balsamic, honey lavender, cardamom, and mandarin chocolate sorbet.

If for some reason it's too cold for ice cream (never a problem for me), you might try nearby Trophy Cupcakes (1815 N. 45th St., Seattle, WA 98103). The cupcake trend is still alive and well at this brightly colored dessert spot. It has your every- day chocolate and vanilla options alongside Morning Glory (carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and a caramel filling) and S'Mores (chocolate with marshmallow frosting), among others.

Ballard is an up-and-coming neighborhood.

Tucked into a slew of cute boutiques is the spacious, well-lit Motion and Rest Dance Studio (5340 Ballard Ave NW, Seattle, WA 98107). When we passed by a small group of women were doing something that looked kind of like belly-dancing. They seemed to be having a blast!

Finery for Fillies (5344 Ballard Ave NW, Seattle, WA 98107; (206) 547-9639) is a cute boutique had an astonishing selection of cowboy boots and a number of flirty, pretty (albeit pricey) dresses.

At Lock & Keel bar (5144 Ballard Ave. NW, Seattle, WA 98107; (206) 781-2083), ask for Susie, a bartender who also makes her own clothing line.

Now what am I forgetting? Oh yeah! Don't forget to drive by the space needle on your way back to the airport.

Lulu's Decision to Move to Austin FAQ

2009-04-03T20:46:00.001-07:00

Q: But, Lulu, I thought you loved San Francisco? Isn't it your favorite city?
A: Yes, both are true. San Francisco is my favorite city and I've become quite comfortable here -- perhaps a little too comfortable. Settling in over the last six years has felt good, but I can't help but feel like I've lost my sense of adventure in the process. I find myself taking for granted the amazing food, music, people and scenery here. My San Francisco learning curve has leveled off and I guess you could say I'm in a bit of a rut. When I return to this city, I want to see it with new eyes... and hopefully bring something new and unusual back with me to contribute to it.

Q: How long will you be gone?
A: I'm not sure... I'd say a minimum of one year. Perhaps two years?

Q: What's going to happen to your apartment?
A: It's up for grabs. Do you want it? Let me know and I'll pass your information along to my attentive landlord, John. I've lived here long enough that this place has become a real home and, selfishly, I'd love to see it occupied by friends who have enjoyed it with me in the past.

Q: Why Austin?
A: My good friend and former roomate Liz has always raved about Austin, her hometown, and I assumed that her praise was just high-falutin' Texan pride. It turns out Austin really is a great city. I discovered this when I was there a few weeks ago for SXSW. It felt good to be there, wandering around, and I concluded that Austin was a place I could crash for a little while and be happy; maybe learn a few new things. I also determined that it is a good city for fresh local food and music = super important to me!

Q: When are you leaving?
A: I'm tentatively planning to land in Austin in the fall. Before I ship out, I will dogsit Miss Lucille again this summer in San Diego while my parents are away. I may also go WWOOFing with my friend Chelsea sometime at the end of the summer before I head to Texas.

Q: When can I visit?
A: Inevitably, I'll be a little homesick, so I'd love visits from SF friends (and others, of course). Just give me a little advanced notice and my couch is yours.

Q: Hey isn't your birthday coming up soon? What are you doing to celebrate?
A: Just kidding! No one has asked this question yet, but I figured I should take it upon myself to advertise my 24th birthday/Going Away party. I'm going to go all out this year and offer a --brace yourself -- "24 Hours with Lulu" extravaganza. I know that sounds a little ridiculous at face value, but what I mean is this: I'm going to plan 24 hours of activities in order to give my friends and acquaintances a better opportunity to come say goodbye. I'd really like to see everyone before I leave, if possible, and I think this might make it less overwhelming for all parties involved. For example, if you'd like to hang out one last time before I skip town and you are working in the morning of my birthday, come drop by for happy hour in the evening; or if you have to catch a flight home later in the day, join me for breakfast. I'll post something on here a little later with my intended "official" whereabouts for that particular day.

XLR8R SXSW Musical Impressions

2009-03-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

One of my SWSX articles (written in collaboration with festival cohort and managing editor, Ken Taylor) is now up on the XLR8R website. Check it out to read my impressions of some of the bands that played during the week. What follows is a blurb about a noise rock band called HEALTH, from Los Angeles, that didn't make it into the final article because we didn't have a picture for it. Fortunately, I found a video of the show on YouTube that captures the experience pretty well. You might enjoy it if the camerawork doesn't make you sick first.

Who: HEALTH
Where: The Mohawk

I was thrilled to secure a spot near the front for HEALTH’s Saturday show at the Mohawk until the first atomic blast of the band’s sound check made me realize that I was probably soon to lose whatever was left of my hearing. Whatever, it was kind of worth it. Through polyrhythmic guitars, edgy synths, and turns of taiko-style drumming, the performance found that difficult but satisfying place between sex and violence. While my left ear bled, I watched three of the four band members manhandle their taped-up guitars (each working with about five feet of pedals). The lead singer, who crooned delicately into one mic and abused a second, was sweating by the end of the first song. And so was I.

You can check out the rest of the blurbs here.

LUXLU Does SXSW

2009-03-27T18:06:00.000-07:00

I am currently recovering from a week in Austin, where I covered the South by Southwest Music Festival for Performer and XLR8R magazines.

The South by Southwest Music Festival celebrated its 23rd anniversary this year by welcoming a record-setting 1,900 registered bands and enough visitors to raise Austin’s population by about a fifth of its usual size. The festival evolved out of an interest the local cowboy blues and punk scenes in the late ‘80s and has since grown to include bands from across genres. For four days, festival goers can see bands performing R&B, thrash metal, punk, techno, and everything in between, at over 80 official venues (and countless unofficial ones). Given the overwhelming amount of stages packed into the greater Austin area – believed to have the highest per capita of official venues in the U.S. – it makes sense that the city is often referred to as the “Live Music Capital of the World.”

Perhaps most notably, though, SXSW proves that pretty much any establishment might serve as a venue. During the festival, taquerias, churches, rooftops and backyards, BBQ pits, and even furniture stores became temporary stages. On Friday afternoon of the festival, Philadelphia native trio Akron/Family tucked in among the sleek armchairs and coffee tables at Design Within Reach in Austin’s Warehouse District for a rousing performance of warm harmonies, polyrhythmic percussion and literal bells and whistles that echoed distinctly in the unlikely musical hall.

SXSW also provides a lesson in the art of letting go. With so many bands on the festival roster, even in such a relatively dense setting, it’s impossible to see every one of them. In truth, it would be difficult to see even an eighth of them. The best bet is to pick a must-see show for each night and take it from there, wandering past nearby venues, checking lineups with the doormen, and listening for tip-offs and things that tickle the ear. Either way, the SXSW festivalgoer can rest assure that he or she will hear some good music (especially with a pre-purchased wristband).

I feel like my SXSW experience was a pretty good example of what to expect once you head into the fray. I began the first official night, Wednesday, with a rich, synth-driven set from Ulrich Schnauss at Elysium, before heading to an energetic performance from DFA sweethearts Late of the Pier at a warehouse-sized venue called Zona Rosa on the other side of town, before finally finishing with the crowd-surfing electro-garage of French punkstress Kap Bambino all the way back at Elysium. Somewhere in the interim, I stopped by the communist-themed, punk-friendly Red 7 where San Diego-based band Rafter packed the house with a set combining the antics of Talking Heads with the funky vocoder-infused sound of Chromeo; meanwhile, a bit later down the street at the Red Eyed Fly outdoor stage, Atlanta punk foursome The Coathangers screamed its way through otherwise endearing songs about noisy neighbors and other little things that piss people off. And this was only the first night.

Festival participants who weren’t in town by Wednesday night were generally there by Thursday, as evidenced by increased foot traffic along main thoroughfares like 6th Street, Red River Street, which had been closed off to vehicles, and South Congress (“SoCo”) on the other side of centrally located Ladybird Lake. Thursday night saw buzz bands like Los Angeles punk rockers Mika Miko and experimental electronic duo Telepathe catering to mixed audiences back at Red 7. At Emo’s famous mainstage, eccentric crooner Francis Farewell Starlite of Francis and the Lights hopped, shimmied and scooted in untraditional ways to his soulful, Peter-Gabriel-meets-Prince style vocals. San Francisco outfit Thao with the Get Down Stay Down charmingly beat boxed and strummed away at The Parish a little further deep into the bustling, grilled onion-smelling scene on 6th St. The night ended with some added excitement for those who went to the Beauty Bar backyard for the late Drop the Lime DJ set, after which the pugnacious Brooklynite picked a near-epic fight with the soundman post-set for doing what he felt was a less than adequate job.

In order to escape the rush of visitors, noise chaos and resulting congestion, many locals opted to skip town for the week or head for the hills (i.e. nearby parks like Barton Springs). The obvious exceptions to this trend were the many Austin-based bands performing in the festival. The free Auditorium Shores Stage performance by perennial local favorite Explosions in the Sky appeared at the top of nearly everyone’s must-see list this year as well as The Wooden Birds, the latest project from former American Analog Set leadman and Austinite Andrew Kenny. AmAnSet fans that enjoyed the dreamy acoustic set from Wooden Birds at the Parish on the last day of the festival got a sneak preview of offerings from the band’s upcoming debut album, Magnolia, set to hit stands May 12 on Barsuk Records. Other beloved local bands to grace the stage at “South By,” as the UT students call it, included blues master Gary Clarke Jr., dub-centric experimentalists Grimy Styles, and arbiters of sweet, quirky pop, The Octopus Project (who dined five feet away from “surprise” festival performer Kanye West at Japanese fusion hotspot, Uchi, later in the week).

Music fans and bands alike who decided to break for real food at mealtimes (as opposed to several cans of the locally preferred cheap Lone Star beer) dove headlong into the grease at BBQ joints (like Stubb’s and Iron Works), Tex-Mex eateries (like Guero’s), and Pizzerias (like Home Slice Pizza) – all which, interestingly enough, still acted as venues for the festival. In fact, Metallica played a “secret show” at Stubb’s BBQ, which is equally notable for its tasty ‘que as it is for solid booking. Alternatively, those looking for less grease (or who were coming from nearby famed crate-diggers’ delight, Waterloo Records), stopped at the WholeFoods flagship store to sample from the roasted nut bar, raw food café, or mind boggling supply of other serious local edibles – as well as, yes, more live music. The pervasiveness of loud music coming from various orifices of the city in most areas made earplugs a necessity for even a walk down the middle of the street.

Visitors wanting to let their ears rest – or stop bleeding if they happened to pass within 50 feet of the Metal, BBQ, & Booze day party on Friday in the Red River district – could dip into the Austin Convention Center to check out Flatstock 20, a showcase of some of the finest concert poster art of the last two decades from contemporary artists like Jay Ryan, Mike Budai, Dan Stiles, and Billy Perkins, among hundreds of others. Some artists demonstrated the printing process on the spot by hand-pressing their own commemorative Flatstock posters for curious onlookers to purchase.

By Friday night, classic blues spot Antone’s was the place to be (unless you missed one of the Pains of Being Pure at Heart’s many shows earlier in the week, in which case Emo’s Jr. was the place) to hear tiny singer-songwriter Mirah open for the strange, classically beautiful avant-garde multi-instrumentalist St. Vincent, who played with a full band this time around. Handsome San Francisco-based lo-fi/garage artist Ty Segal, who also usually plays solo shows, took the stage at Red 7 with two members from another band, The Fresh & Onlys the next night. “One-man-bands are super fun, but they get really limiting,” He said. “If stuff starts to go wrong, it’s all on you. This is great because it’s really full and loud and crazy.” Indeed it was. In addition to a lineup of familiar songs that had girls all the way in the back row doing the hippie shake, Segal played a few songs off his forthcoming album, out in June on Goner Records. Even with an exhaustive late set full of throaty screams and stage rolling, Segal planned to spend the last night of the festival checking out other visiting bands – The Sonics, Devo, Mika Miko and Vaseline, to name a few. “Oh, and there’s also this house party later with The Mayors and The Intelligence and The Oh Sees,” he added. Ah, the ubiquitous house party. Once again, there is no venue too great or too small for SXSW – especially not if it continues to expand the way it is.

Missed Connections

2009-02-10T23:05:00.000-08:00

My friends and I get a vicarious thrill just reading about the range of situations and emotions surrounding everyone else's "Missed Connections" on Craigslist.com. Granted, it's twice as exciting when you're actually (finally) the subject.

I swear it will only be a matter of time before someone makes a movie about this growing cultural phenomenon (and it will probably be a romantic comedy, although I think a documentary would work just fine). Orson's tasting menu was fantastic, by the way.

2009-01-02T16:05:00.001-08:00

Just as I began my week-long New Year's detox vegan diet, I received an e-mail from my dad containing only a link to this horrifying video:

Good grief! Meanwhile I'm chopping away at leeks, beets and chard, people in Arizona are consuming Quadruple Bypass burgers in celebration of the likelihood that a greasy diet will lead to a stroke or a heart attack. You only live once, right? Yes, but perhaps not for very long!

I myself like a good cheeseburger, but fortunately greasy food isn't the only way I get my rocks off. This time of year, I truly look forward to roasted root vegetables, poached pears and my mother's hearty leek soup. Today, I used her basic recipe for leek soup to make my own take on another seasonal favorite: borscht. Don't judge! I think that even those who aren't huge fans of beets might like this soup because it balances the hardcore earthiness of the beets with sweetness from the potatoes and savory, garlicky warmth from the leeks. The neon magenta color that comes from the blend of orange sweet potatoes and blood red beets is absolutely stunning -- it's really hard to believe that there isn't any food-coloring involved. Thus, I present:

"Borscht is for Lovers" Soup

1 red beet, scrubbed and quartered
1 sweet potato, peeled and chopped into about 6 chunks
2 leeks, cleaned and chopped into little 1/2-inch shreds (white part only)
1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil
about 1 to 2 cups of vegetable stock (8 to 16 oz)
about 1 to 2 cups of unsweetened soy milk
salt, white pepper, and nutmeg to taste

In a medium to big pot, "melt" the leek: coat the shreds with the tablespoon of oil and a pinch of salt and sautee over medium heat until approaching translucent. Don't let them brown! Reserve 1/3 of the melted leeks in a bowl. Add to the pot the quartered beet and sweet potato chunks. Add to the pot enough stock to just cover the lot of it. Cover the pot and allow everything to simmer until both the beets and sweet potato are tender when pierced with a knife. When the tubers are finally soft, add the reserved leek back into the mix (this retains the leek-y flavor -- something my mom taught me). Using a hand blender, puree everything in the pot while still hot. Season the resulting puree with salt, pepper and fresh nutmeg to taste and then thin with soy milk to the desired consistency. Plenty for two!

I used soy milk and olive oil on this recipe only because I'm attempting to go completely animal-free food-wise for the week, but my mom would have certainly cooked the leeks in butter and thinned the puree with, gasp, heavy cream! You only live once, right?

The Dreaded Final Push

2008-12-13T21:27:00.000-08:00

There are now no less than five pages between me and freedom (Whoopeeee!!!).

I'm back with old Foucault, this time joined by his friend Habermas, and we're putting our heads together to come up with something about social rationalization. I'm still trying to figure out what social rationalization is, let alone what I think about it. Needless to say, I'll be burning the midnight oil.

Meanwhile, my computer emergency dialogue box just popped up to let me know that my hard drive, which I labeled "Lulu's Brain," is dangerously full and that I should back up my information. This issue could prove disastrous and yet I can't help but smile at the coincidence. Hopefully my brain has enough room for one more paper...

I'm not sure which one is Foucault in this illustration, but supposedly he is tucked in among these gentlemen.

LA, M83 and YTC

2008-12-07T11:27:00.000-08:00

So, www.youtellconcerts.com is this pretty neat blog run by a couple of LA kids that features fans talking about their favorite bands before or after they see them live. Since one of my favorite bands (electro-shoegaze Frenchies M83) was playing in in LA at the Henry Fonda Theater while I was home in San Diego for Thanksgiving break, I just had to make the trip up to see them. Leaving the show, these guys approached me for my opinion (in addition to a number of other concert-goers, including British DJ Adam Freeland). Check it out:

Maybe I'll do something similar in San Francisco? Everyone knows we have better music here... ; )

Entering the Next Phase

2008-12-01T23:41:00.000-08:00

It’s Thanksgiving and I’m sitting on an oversized white couch in my parents’ house, trying in vain to battle the tryptophan overload and get through the final 100 pages of Michel Foucault’s Discipline & Punishment. The day’s dinner guests have already headed home with their tinfoil-wrapped leftovers. My dad is playing loud music in his office with the dog. My mom and sister are in the living room watching the (terrible) movie version of the Sex & the City series. I know I should be doing something similar, but the pulse of my usual obligations is hard to ignore and so I’m here, alone with my studies, as I have often been throughout the better portion of my life.

I told myself – that is, literally noted it on my desk calendar earlier in the semester– that I would not be doing any schoolwork on this particular day. As it turns out, that was easier said than done. As many fellow students will attest, not doing homework during Thanksgiving break is nearly impossible when it falls so close to finals time. Regardless, family and friends have often teased me about the fact that I have a hard time going on vacation. “Don’t work too hard,” my Dad always says, slightly ironically.

For as far back as my memory serves, working hard at school has been my job, my religion and, done well, my joy. I might be criticized as a perfectionist occasionally, but it has been mostly curiosity that drives me to take my studies so seriously. I have consumed the gospels of one teacher after another, culling pieces here and there to add to my own changing doctrine of beliefs. I have pursued new topics, studied countless hours, failed tests, written “A” papers, laughed at the folly of some education and felt frustration in my own occasional stupidity. I have truly fought the good fight where education is concerned.

In theory, this is about to change because my graduation is less than a month away now. I’ve weathered the usual questions about my future for longer than most college seniors because I’ve been a college senior for longer than most college seniors. Having graduated from culinary school before attending USF and then taking an additional semester beyond the traditional four years to wrap things up, I am now about one-and-a-half years older than the usual undergraduate senior (23, if you must know). Occasionally, this fact makes me a bit self-conscious, but I certainly don’t regret the path I’ve chosen. Sometimes I think I would stay longer, but lately I’ve become pretty excited to see what will happen to me once I’m no longer officially a student.

Part of me quietly hopes that my matriculation will reveal some kind of epiphany – a divine revelation – to cap off my long academic struggle. But, exactly what greatness will follow? The hopeful fool in me wants to believe that all the secrets of the universe will be revealed to me the moment I throw my mortarboard up into the air, but the realist in me knows that this is likely far from the truth. Any conversation about the current economy is not likely to raise the recent graduate’s spirits. The reality is that my graduation will probably only raise more questions for me – mostly the same questions I’ve already been asked. What happens next? What will I do with myself? How, now, will I occupy my mind? How will I maintain what’s already there? How will I replace this thing that has provided about 80% of my social life and formed the constant rhythm, the backbone of my schedule?

I cannot yet fear the intellectual, emotional and social absence that awaits me once I step outside the walls of the academic world that has cradled me for so long. It’s still too early to imagine what it will feel like to be free of homework and compulsory essays; I am still working on my final papers and will be right up until I graduate. The weighty questions are therefore still temporarily easy to ignore. Obviously I will “do” something because that’s what humans (especially Americans) are good at. We can be very efficient. But what will I think about? What if not Rousseau and digital literacy and Mandarin Chinese? Thinking about the possibilities, I straddle the line between anxiety and excitement.

Perhaps it will be good to let my mind wander, or rest, as it were. It’s good to let the fields lie fallow every now and then. Hopefully the next crop of ideas will be stronger for it.

Performer Magazine

2008-09-24T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have been working for Performer Magazine, writing profiles and album reviews, for over a year now! I originally applied for their internship and ended up sticking around as a writer instead. Here is the "300-word review of a band I like" that got me into the job:

The Go Find – Stars on the Wall
Review by Lulu McAllister

Belgian Indie-pop group The Go Find takes a softer turn in their recent Stars on the Wall. Haunting melodies layered over understated electronics and strumming guitar riffs on the second album seem to delve deeper into the lullaby mentality of the group’s 2005 release, Miami.

Stars on the Wall varies slightly from song to song, contributing country guitar solos in some areas and nursery-ready electronic accents in others but remains generally down-tempo from start to finish. The uncomplicated, melancholy vocals of the songs “Beautiful Night” and “New Year” sound like something Ben Gibbard might have produced in the time between his Postal Service rendezvous and latest offerings with Death Cab for Cutie. “Beautiful Night” remains streamlined, building to a rich harmonic vocal breakdown toward the end of the song. “New Year” ripens when similar background vocals come in like a cannon, weaving together the song’s simple message (“This is the new year I’ve been longing for”). “We Don’t Wanna” moves completely into the acoustic end of things while also throwing in some drums where they were previously omitted. The single, “Dictionary,” maintains simple elements of the first few song but opens up when the drum track doubles up over the catchy repeated main theme. “Ice Cold Ice” builds with a tribal Bjork-esque beat but never really takes off. “OK Kid,” the last track, boils the previous songs down to a string of discreet instrumentals that seem to capture the essence of the album as a whole.

The Go Find have honed their downtempo sound in Stars on the Wall, seeming hesitant to break out of this calmer mindset. (Morr Music)

www.thegofind.com

A year later, I still struggle with interesting substitutes for words like "upbeat" or "beautiful" or "moody" and it's hard to be technically specific when I'm not much of a musician myself (excluding, of course, painful piano lessons in the early years and that awkward 7th grade experiment called the euphonium).

Furthermore, finding that delicate balance between hardcore musicology and abstract description is always a challenge. Is it going too far to inform the reader that a musician is singing in the hexatonic scale or is it better to simply state that the vocals are bluesy? Both would be accurate.

Either way, I keep ploughing my way through various music -- be it jazz, techno, hip-hop or any other genre out of left field. To see some of my other reviews from the past year, click here.

A Match Mead in Heaven

2008-09-13T01:23:00.001-07:00

If you've ever heard of mead -- that ancient alcoholic drink -- and thought instantly of syrup and church pews, then you aren't alone (although perhaps I am).

I was intrigued but dubious going into a Slow Food USA workshop on pairing heritage pork (also interesting) with sparkling mead. Lo and behold, despite how much I enjoyed the Ossabaw pork preparations, the Heidrun sparkling mead really stuck with me -- so much, in fact, that I was inspired to purchase some off the Internet following the festival (I'll have you know that, before this transaction, I'd never purchased alcohol online before, so this was kind of a big deal).

The sparkling mead is like all you hope a champagne would be. Given that it is made with honey rather than grapes, it's surprisingly very dry. It's like sipping a really great sparkling wine while smelling artisanal honey.

I got my Club Mead order in the mail yesterday: California orange blossom, avocado blossom and buckwheat blossom sparkling mead. Now what to serve it with? Pork works pretty well, apparently, but what else could I do? I was thinking it might be fun to throw a medieval dinner party. If only WholeFoods offered fresh mutton, I'd be set.

Music for an Idyll Moment

2008-09-06T10:49:00.000-07:00

Both the music and video for this track by Benoit Pioulard are beautiful. Check out "Idyll":

See more excellent offerings in XLR8R's curated music video section here.

Disco Never Dies When It Comes with a Side of Fries

2008-08-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

It isn’t exactly health food: waffle or steak fries with cheese – usually mozzarella – and more brown sauce than you would find in a gravy boat at Thanksgiving. In addition to this, the dish comes with even more gravy for dipping – if you can manage to lift one of the soggy fries before it goes flaccid under the weight of the primary sauce and cheese.

Kevin Snow, a weight trainer who has spent all 21 years of his life in the small community of Basking Ridge, New Jersey says the dish makes up “at least your 2,000 calorie limit in one appetizer. If you are trying to maintain any sort of weight or care about the way you look whatsoever, they are the worst possible thing to put in your body.”

This notion doesn’t appear to have hurt the dish’s popularity much over the years. “Disco Fries”, as they are known, have survived prominently in New Jersey for the last couple of decades, after they first made the jump from nearby Quebec.

In Canada, the dish is called poutine. It first popped up on menus around Quebec in the late 1950s as soft cheese curds melted atop fries. Eventually, dark chicken gravy was added to the dish. Now, poutine is a fast food staple there, offered by chains like McDonalds and Burger King on their Canadian menus. By the 1970s the dish made the leap over to the U.S., appearing particularly in New York and New Jersey, initially as an “off-menu” item with slight variations of the original.

Around the same time poutine wandered onto American plates, the kids coming back late from the New York discos had big appetites fired up from a night of drinking and dancing. Diners were, as always, open late and welcomed these hungry patrons in the early hours, serving them the greasiest comfort food on the menu – the messy, salty fat-soaked starch that would come to be known as “disco fries”.

On the Internet there is relatively little authority on “disco fries”, but a definition on Urbandictionary.com describes them simply as “cheese fries with gravy,” with one of the two definitions noting that they are the “perfect end to a night of binge drinking” – a clear nod to the dish’s origins.

The spread of this unhealthy late-night favorite halted and remained isolated to a relatively specific part of the country. Traveling outside of the Mid-Atlantic states, people might raise their eyebrows if you asked for a plate of “disco fries”, but at the Spinning Wheel Diner in East Lebanon, New Jersey, manager Tony Julian smiles and asks, “What kind?” The diner offers the original version as well as other incarnations with various types of cheese. The menu also features a near relative to the disco fries called “pizza fries”, which substitutes gravy for marinara sauce.

Manuel Garcia, one of the fry cooks in back at the Spinning Wheel, is amused by the interest in something that, to him, is as basic as hamburgers and hotdogs. It’s not even halfway through the week and he has already prepared 19 orders of the legendary “disco fries”. Mine will be order number 20.

Garcia tears into a bag of frozen steak fries – the kind that are five inches long and half an inch thick and still have the consistency of a baked potato when you bite into them. He pours these straight into a metal basket and dips them into hot oil, where they remain, sizzling, for three to four minutes.

Garcia doesn’t use a timer; practice has given him an inherent sense of when the fries are perfectly crisped.

When he thinks they are ready, he pulls the basket out by the handle, giving it a few shakes to release any excess oil and then quickly dumps the fries in a shallow metal serving platter.

On top of the fries, Garcia ladles one generous Cup of chicken gravy, made from the pan scrapings of other dishes on the menu.

He distributes three slices of mozzarella cheese evenly on top of the fries and slides the platter under a broiler. After a minute or two, when the cheese has melted and begins to bubble, Garcia removes the platter and checks it to make sure that it has cooked evenly. He notes that patrons request varying levels of color on their melted cheese: some like it turning deep brown, some like it just barely melted. In this case, the dish is somewhere between.

He places the silver platter of cheesy fries on top of another plate and adds a ramekin with more gravy. Sliding the dish under the hot lamps of the service area, he dings a bell to call a waitress, and the “disco fries” embark on the second part of the their short life.

The fries arrive sticking out at random from a pile of gooey cheese.

Within minutes, the dish has dissolved into a jumbled mess of indistinguishable wet starch and semi-hardened cheese; to select individual pieces one must inevitably submerge a finger or two into the muddy pile.

Between figuring out how to deal with the messy factor and finding room in the stomach, finishing a plate of “disco fries” proves challenging.

Eating the dish is a mix of basic comforts: warm starch, gooey cheese, savory drippings; yet, like the disco era that crowned it, the experience of eating these fries is grounded by the creeping guilt that often follows good things in excess. It’s nothing that a root beer float or malted shake can’t fix.

Summer Albums

2008-07-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

It's July. Your cruisin' with the car windows rolled down, your best friend in the passenger seat (which might be your Labrador, Lucy, if you're me), and nowhere to be for the rest of the day but the beach or someone's birthday BBQ. What else could you possible need? The ultimate summer soundtrack blaring out your shoddy stereo system, that's what!

In keeping with this, I present to you a list of summer 2008 albums for your consideration and, I hope, enjoyment:

M83 -- Saturdays=Youth

Ultimate Summer Track: "We Own the Sky". Hands down. This song is brimming with airy, multi-layered synths, wide-eyed innocence, romance and a little bit of mystery all against an uncomplicated drum machine. It's like coming of age in five minutes.

Cut Copy -- In Ghost Colours

Ultimate Summer Track: Pretty much everything on here. This is one of those albums that's solid from start to finish. That said, I literally look for someone to high five whenever I hear "Hearts on Fire".

MGMT -- Oracular Spectacular

Ultimate Summer Track: I might be tempted to say "Time to Pretend" because of how much the beginning of the song makes me think of fireflies; however, the nod goes to "Electric Feel," which has a groovy, summer of love kind of thing going on that I... well, let's just say I dig it.

Does It Offend You, Yeah? -- You Have No Idea What You Are Getting Yourself Into

Ultimate Summer Track: "Let's Make Out". Needless to say, making out is great for summer. I can't emphasize enough how much I dislike the band's name, but I digress. The album is like a solid pass through Blood Brothers and Death from Above 1979 and, alternately, The Killers and The Bravery (their older, better work).

The Presets -- Apocalypso

Ultimate Summer Track: "Anywhere". Didn't make it to Ibiza this summer? No prob. Just pop in this track and you're halfway there -- with some of Australia's finest gentlemen of electronica, no less.

Crystal Castles -- Crystal Castles

Ultimate Summer Track: "Courtship Dating" is space pop with unintelligible lyrics and some well-placed screaming -- it roolz!

Nortec Collective -- Tijuana Sound Machine

Ultimate Summer Track: "Brown Bike". This album is like taking a road trip down the Baja Peninsula. The horn section is especially rock and roll.

There you have it. Enjoy.

Projects Up and Coming

2008-07-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated 4th!

I am currently hosting two guests, Russell Bentley and the lovely Sky Madden.

We went downtown to watch the fireworks right next to the S.S. Midway and got stuck in traffic for the next couple of hours following the demonstration. Still not sure if it was worth it.

Here are the things on my plate at the moment:

I am currently helping the Rancho Santa Fe Historical Society put together a cookbook featuring historical recipes, contemporary submissions from current residents and famous recipes from local businesses. I'm hoping to get Chino's Farm, The Inn, Delicious, Thyme in the Ranch, and Milles Fleures on board as well. I'm also helping the society renovate their website and begin a blog to update their members. We'll see how that goes.

When I'm not spending time with Russell and Sky (and Miss Lucille), I'm working on my summer Arts Reporting directed study. I've read some submissions from MFK Fisher and Alex Kapranos' collection of food memoires from his tour with Franz Ferdinand called Sound Bites. Next I will read "Vibration Cooking or the Travel Notes of a Geechee Girl" by Vertamae Grosvenor in order to write an essay comparing the three as well as my own food memoire. Where to begin? I have so many great memories that involve food.

I'm also working on an essay about the importance of lyrics. Namely, do they matter in music? If so, under what circumstances do they matter? The Professor of Pop (who is currently away from the internet for a month or so to write about Zep) is overseeing this one. Feel free to give me your thoughts on lyrics. I've gotten a mixed bag of answers so far.

More to come.